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Saturday 6 Febuary 2010.

 

 

Top Gear At A North London Lane ... Spurs' Stig Return Date.

 

 

"Gentlemen. Start your engines."  The famous grand prix invitation has Referee Chris Foy in charge of starting /refereeing duties for the late show at The Lane between Spurs and Villa this afternoon.

 

Aston martins,martin o'neils, david bentleys,and all manner of high octane footballers are involved in another very crucial cliche. A six pointer. Throw in Niko Kranjcar and the reappearance at some stage of Va Va Kaboul then certainly top gear will be needed by the Redknapp fleet. If Villa have nothing else then they certainly have pace galore up front particularly with Agbonlahor. Hopefully our Rolls Royce Ledley makes it. Dawson is not flash in the pace department.

 

With Aaron Lennon still in the garage for repairs we have David Bentley beginning to purr quite nicely at wide right. Manager Harry Redsack thought he had an attitude problem not long ago. No end of the tunnel in sight for him. Marvelous what the prospect of some actual running time can do. A lengthy Lennon absence has led to a revitalised Bentley. Boy they will need more of the same against the Villians from him. An added spur may be the announced return date of Lennon. Early next month.

 

The fresh legs of Luka Modric and Wilson Palacios, who were confined to spectatorial roles at Elland Road, should help against the likes of Milner and Petrov. Corluka versus Ashley Young is a worry. Speed does not appear in our Croatian's vocabulary. Presumably the rightfooted Young starts on the left, leaving leftfooted Downing against Gareth Bale. Hmm.Either way looks a difficult night for both our fullbacks.

 

Seems the preferred solution would involve England's joint top goalscorer ( Jermaine and Wayne are 24 all) putting scoreboard pressure on the Villa. Our banker will be interested to see how the new man Eider goes.

 

Our pub will not be putting the mortgage on a home win here. Perhaps a round of drinks. Still in such a big game and at home surely our top of the range Tottenham Hotspur shows up today. In that case it will be a long drive home for team Villa.

 

Looking Through A Transfer Window.

 

For all the pontification by various Spurs scribes and others,commenting on Spurs lack of activity in the January window, it does seem somewhat misplaced.With some centrehalf cover incoming the lack of goalkeeper and centre midfield cover has been suggested.Granted but lifting one's head above the trenches what have our main rivals done.

 

Aston Villa in : nil. Liverpool in: Maxi Rodriguez ... err nil? Wait for it. Our biggest rivals possibly for fourth, Man City brought in Adam Johnson to warm the bench. Patrick Viera added to the average age but not all round fitness of the squad. Not yet anyway. When fit may of course be useful.

 

Up the road Arsenal brought in Samuel Galind from Real America. Who? Where? Chelsea in; nil. And finally over at Goodison Park Landon Donovan looks good business. Even better bizness from a show biz perspective the coming of Philippe Senderos to Everton created great amusement here. The return to Premier League action from one of life's great comedic defenders is always welcome.

 

Spurs acquisition of an aging hitman and attention deficit defender was not spectacular. Still Ledley King says Younes Kaboul has changed. Eider could do no worse than a fading Robbie Keane of late. No real headlines there but why not dream a moment  ...

 

At A Kent News Desk.

 

Headlines that never made it ...

 

                                         Arsenal Finally Add To Trophy Cabinet After  Long Long Wait.

 

                                         England Captain Leads Scandal Free, Drug Free, Court Free Life.Sunday School Teaching Ambition.

 

I mean in Italy John Terry would probably still be captain. Lots to talk about ...

 

At A Kent Pub.

 

A good old fashioned Cup win this week meant spirits are high. Mine Host has chalked up this weeks motto on the Specials Board. "Enjoy it while we can." Fourth in the League. Upwards in the Cup. Saturday comes again. Another game. Another gamble.

 

Monopoly went on sale for the first time on this day way back in 1935. Todays game is that close to call. A throw of the dice almost. Lets hope its Mayfair and not Old Kent Road for Spurs tonight.

 

Cheers ... nothing wrong with the pubs in old Kent though ... Greg Meyer.                                coys.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Friday 22 January 2010

 

 

Undelivered Mail ... Undelivered Premier Points ... A Post Office In Kent  ... A Cup of Cheer ... A Pub In Kent.

 

 

Its tempting to blame Howard Plebb, Alan Wiley at Arsenal vs Bolton,and why not climate change for all the bad news delivered to our Kent Pub this week.

 

Howard's Way, some might say biased ineptitude, does seem to fit nicely with the Sky Four but surely we did need to score. Oops there's Howards interesting interpretation of the offside rules intervening. Conveniently Sky Four balanced as it turned out. The Defoe goal to Spurs may have certainly meant a different result. Still our Pub think a Top Four team overcomes referees no matter how poor they are.

 

Alan Wiley saw nothing wrong with the Gallas coming together with Davies. Wenger saw nothing wrong with playing on with a player down. Oops it was the opposition who had fallen. Goal to Arsenal. A complete volte face from that famous day when the two Arsenal players ran into each other and Keano went on to score. Mind Monsieur Wenger is if nothing but predictable these days.

 

Back to Anfield, Mine host is not normally prone to profanity,but thought Spurs were, rhymes with Kyte. Coincidentally it was the said Dutchman who scored a brace to put us in the proverbial Kyte.

 

If only comes to mind. That said there was some interesting mail undelivered ...

 

At A Kent Post Office.

 

Surely we cannot blame climate change  ...  yet. Weather is weather and snow has been abundant. Still some interesting Return to Sender letters surfaced this week.

 

Dear Elvis,

 

               Great news. Enclosed is the new wonder drug. Guaranteed to cure all back ache pain,cardio vascular disease,depression symptoms,eating disorders,drug addiction and anything you care to nominate.

 

               Prescription enclosed.

 

                                                   Dr. Nick.

 

Bueno Dias Gary,

 

            I am writing to you with some help from my Agent Kia.As you know my english eez a little missing.Weel almost completely missing. These new words like moron and sock sucker are how you say non comprende.

 

           Kia says I should understand why you perhaps do not understand my move to City. I know lovely old Alex would understand.

 

           Eef I am lucky enough to score on Tuesday would it be alright if I pop over to the dugout to give you a big hug. Afterall we did play with the United and win lots together.

 

           Buenes Noches

 

                                              Carlos.         PS   Muchas Good Luck for Tuesday.

 

Dear Harry,

 

         Would you mind terribly if me and most of the boys did not turn up for the Wednesday night run around at Anfield. As you know from previous experience Wednesday is usually our golf day.

 

         One of the Jermaines is still working on his swing.Something about club selection. Royal Birkdale is a lovely Merseyside links course. Linking back and front is something we could work on as a team.

 

         Don't think Wilson will be joining us. Same with the Croats. Luka says they don't play a lot of golf back home. Mainly war games. Still he thinks the government is saving up. Vedran has a hair appointment and Niko is. Well you know Niko.

 

         Realise this comes a little late. Perhaps at a bad time but they did call the first one off. Sure you'll come up with something as always.

 

      Robbie.

 

And in the dead letter department. Well and truly not delivered.

 

Dear Mr. Moses Esquire,

 

                                   The jet ski you ordered is now available. Thank you for your patronage.

 

     Mr. E. Bay. Egypt Merchandise Division.

 

Spurs can still change history and your emails and letters are guaranteed to be delivered ...

 

 

To A Kent Pub.

 

A cup of relief says our Lawyer. Referring of course to our Spurs proud cup heritage and something to distract us from the pressure of the premier league . Paricularly when we are fourth and in it. Who would have thought back in August.

 

So to Leeds at the Lane. A great day out guaranteed. Lawro says so. Spurs to win.

 

Our Banker agrees so long as the real Spurs turn up.Why not a Pav run says our Journalist. Probably too complicated for Harry especially if he does well. Sorry idle thoughts.

 

Leeds are no mugs but Tottenham should progress. Be nice to see some goals scored by us after our recent drought.

 

Our Lawyer, indeed we all, are still optimistic of top four. So long as Danny Blanchflower's Spurs philosophy remains we are not too fussed in general. Its the way Spurs should always play football.

 

Cheers ... if you need a reminder Jim has it proudly displayed at the very start of Topspurs ... Greg Meyer.          glory glory.

 

 

 

Friday 15 January 2010.

 

 

Evasion Skills ... Born With it or Developed Over A Football Career and Life  ... Royal Mail At A Kent Pub ... Guess Who's Birthday.

 

 

Amid all the press frenzy over a certain English football manager having been charged with every taxpayers ambition, our Tranmere Accountant has run the pub abacus over the various calculations and outcomes. Evasion is certainly a skill worth millions rather than a mere (reportedly) forty thousand pounds. Source : Her Majesty's Revenue and Customs.

 

Evasion

 

Leaving aside the Managers alleged avoidance skills surely we are singularly blessed. Dodgers such as Modric, so deft of foot and shim, Lennon , blink and you miss it, plus our other Croation possessed of sleight of foot, one Niko Kranjcar.

 

The evasion of detection up near that offside line is not always Jermaine Defoe's strongest suit. Seems to be flagged a little too often sometimes. However he is particularly sharp when the penalty box looms and the onion bag is sighted.

 

Surely the multiple skills outlined above will all be put to good use at 3 pm on Saturday afternoon. Our banker thinks it will be a bigger crime more worthy of investigation should Hull leave White Hart Lane with any point(s) on Saturday.

 

Mail At The Kent Pub.

 

Just before we let on about that surprising birthday card received today, a couple of short letters spotted in the press.

 

From the Highbury Advertiser.

 

 Dear Thierry,

 

                   I am tres excited regards young Mathieu, still only 25 years old , rejoining us from Italy. Coming on , how you say, top of, Sulzeer returning ... alors he is only 35 ans young, then what a shame Patrick, only 33 ans. took a wrong turn at La Heathrow.

 

                  Ze press reports linking you with a return to us are surely un petit premature. Mais non. We would love a sprightly 32 year old striker. In fact any striker at the moment would do.

 

                  You have my private number,

 

                                                            Arsene.

 

 From The Reading Chronicle.

 

 Dear Sir John, 

 

               Just a quick note of appreciation for all your good work at Anfield on Wednesday night. Taking out their star midfielder was very welcome. Imagine Mrs Levy's delight at the 6 week absence of young Fernando. A shame about little Yossi's ribs too.

 

              We are glad to see no one seriously hurt. Just imagine what could have happened to everyone if those nice people at Health and Safety had insisted on our match last Sunday going ahead. All that snow and ice.

 

             Best Wishes

 

                                Daniel. Early Easter wishes to the Madejski family.

 

From The Nottingham Times.

 

Dear Harry,

 

              Sorry to hear about the press beat up this week all over a mere forty thousand pounds (allegedly). I have had some experience myself of inaccurate and sensational reporting of lurid accusations. Just ask Glenn. I always stood right behind him in his managerial career. Was it my fault they wanted me to direct things. Isn't that what Directors of Football are for. Yes I do note that that Spurs position became quickly redundant on your appointment. I wonder what Damien is doing now?

 

            The lads do seem to be playing rather well lately. Keep up the good work. Still keeping my hand in at the chalkboard. Best wishes to Ian, a very able solicitor.

 

            Love to Sally. Hope her heading, sorry headache, has improved.

 

            Yours

                     David

 

          P.S.

                  Thanks for the birthday card. The Pleats enjoy a good celebration. I remember well our Forest days.

 

And how else would you celebrate your 65th birthday than downing a traditional pint ...

 

At A Kent Pub.

 

Spurs are virtually unbackable for the potential banana at home to Hull. Hardly been banana weather lately. Hopefully the expected celebrations are held a little in check on Saturday night. Jamie O'hara about an engagement. Not at Portsmouth nor at Spurs. No he's having a bash to celebtate his future with Danielle Lloyd. Jermaine D is reportedly going. Hopefully Ledley and Peter Crouch have declined.

 

Five games in fourteen days coming up. A season defining period. Only if we win most. A big springboard for later top four aspirations this season.

 

First things first. Surely a win over Hull. Hull need a miracle you would think. Something akin to that US Airways plane that ditched in the River Hudson, not Humber, on this day not long ago. All 155 aboard survived.

 

 

Cheers ... is this the start of our run for the title ... Greg Meyer.     coys.

 

 

Friday 8 January 2009.

 

 

Sherlock Holmes Goes To Anfield ... A Difficult Away Case ... Its Snowing At Graceland.

 

 

Boxing Day was a great day for fans from N17 as well as W1. North London's most famous football club gained a valuable point at Fulham. Sherlock Holmes the Movie premiered and just like our club is set for a long run in the top four.

 

Two days later a display that would have delighted the world's greatest detective. Certainly Spurs played like the characters in The Adventure of The Dancing Men. Poor old Senor Zola threw his hands in the air and started reading The Adventure of the Empty House. The win was catalysed by the hottest winger in the Premier League.

 

Aaron Lennon at full throttle is awesome. Ergo at eleven minutes in he steamed into the box and his end product saw our Croation genius score his first after a fractured fibula. Our lawyer votes it the most breathtaking moment he has seen in many a while. Not the goal but the incredible television footage of Aaron in full flight . No wonder its dramatically challenging to your average fullback when he approaches.

 

A grand Spurs moment. The mercurial Lennon linking with our Croatian creator who plants it in the onion bag. Broken leg and endless rehabilitation all worth it.

 

So to probably Sherlock Redknapps hardest case to date. An away win in the League at Anfield last achieved in August 1993.

 

The Case of the Very Elusive Three Points At Anfield. 

 

Our pub reckon there are only three things preventing Detectives Redknapp, Jordan and Bond solving a very old chestnut. Its all very elementary but easier said than done.

 

First up stop the worlds best forward from scoring . Ledley King should be there to put the brakes on Fernando Torres. Second up go to them and play with the confidence born of the last five games. Clean sheets and chances created. Lets capitalise on a Liverpool struggling with confidence. Finally a little bit mixed with two. Lets hope the real Tottenham Hotspur turns up.

 

Certainly Mine Host has put his wallet on the bar.First round is on the house. A Spurs win will see this place go mad Sunday night.Yep buggar the naysayers if Spurs are it this year then they will win this one and put real space between them and Pool.

 

Even our Banker is thinking this is winnable. The first five minutes might reveal all. If our forwards hound their backs then the flow on is usually infectious. Trust this optimism is not ill placed but we'll still be meeting sunday night ...

 

At A Kent Pub.

 

Not sure if Dr Watson and his famous sidekick had to contend with the snow factor. Rumours abound as to whether Liverpool are as keen as our Pub for the game to proceed. Nothing wrong with the ground. Weather in the area may mean a decision by the Health and Safety Police could see a postponement. No surprise there in these politically correct times.

 

Mind it was snowing today at Graceland, USA. Reported sightings of Elvis variously disguised as an igloo builder, sled driver and snowman are all being investigated.

 

Happy Birthday Elvis. Seventy Three today. 

 

Cheers ... an elementary start and an elementary win would be welcome at a snowy Kent Pub ...Dr.John H. Watson,Sherlock Holmes and Greg Meyer.          coys.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Saturday 19 Decmber 2009.

 

 

The Irish Problem ... Skiing Away At Blackburn ... What's Under The Tree.

 

 

Certainly seems the silly season is in full swing already. Perhaps it should be termed the funny even ludicrous season. They probably haven't even finished loading the Christmas sled in Greenland and parts polar. Mind with what you read in Copenhagen this week perhaps Santa is using a submarine this year given the predictions of ice melt and all.

 

So with Christmas parties all the go and lots of christmas Guinness being sent down the hatch at our Pub seems the week has had a certain green tinge tabloidally speaking.

 

The Irish Problem.

 

Firstly it would be hard to be more Irish than Mick McCarthy's game plan against Manchester United when he dropped 10 of the squad that sqeezed past Spurs. They play Burnley on Sunday and our Pub will be roaring on Burnley. After all they did hold Arsenal to a draw, sidelined Fabregasp, and provided a thrilling home win to us a little ways back. Will McCarthy's plan backfire.

 

Guess who we play in the last match of the year? Yes its Burnley. Oh the joys of having a top four wrapped up and then having the opportunity to play our under 15's against Burnley.Purely for experience of course.

 

The second Irish problem this week actually happened last week. The players golf day in Dublin was okay by Harry Redknapp but the traditional 19th hole afterwards perhaps had slipped under the managerial radar. Probably not on the flight plan Captain Keane passed on to Harry before setting off. Seems a good time was had by all particularly at a well known indoor  course, the Royal Copper Face Jacks Golf Club.

 

Good time had by all perhaps not completely right. Apart from Harry who didn't seem to be invited only 16 of the Squad took clubs. Golf is not a big game in Mexico, Honduras, Russia or Wales. None of Dos Santos, Palacios, Pavlyuchenko or Bale went to Ireland.

 

Still Harry maintains the trip was not the reason for the Wolves debacle and they certainly weren't playing like first time hackers on Wednesday against Citeh. As they say at a nearby golf club here in Kent when you've lost yet another ball. Sayonara!! And surely the same could be said about what seems another tabloidal beat up.

 

Snowshoes at Ewood Park.

 

Skiing straight past a tremendous team result against Manchester City on Wednesday night you can bet snow mittens galore will be the order today. A match forecast of rain and snow showers will see our old mate Chimbonda probably wearing a thermal hood on past gloves form.

 

Pascal will probably earn first shot at trying to reduce the effect of the slalom runs of  winger Aaron Lennon. Early team news is a disappointment to our lawyer. President of the Luka Modric fan club here. His ankle should be right for Boxing day. Snow would not have slowed him up. The Croation connundrum can be shelved for another day. Whether we play Nico Sportscar and Luka together as they do in the national team still to be seen.

 

Same team, same result as Man City . Certainly the former and perhaps the second. Our journalist says the bogey team for Spurs away line will feature in the press. Still if the commitment shown on Wednesday which started from Crouch and Defoe harrassing hard then surely class wins. Be a nice Christmas offering and hopefully it's  ....

 

Under The Christmas Tree ... At A Kent Pub.

 

Christmas carols loom here in our village. Often ends up at the Pub with the adult Carolsters reckoning they have worked up a considerable thirst. Our pub plumber is used to dabbling in water sports and says he has been snowed under this week. Jokes are not his forte. After Blackburn it is Fulham (a) and Ham (h). both of which he deems winnable. Our pub agree particularly the Ham encounter.

 

Thanks to those that have passed on cards and mail( both types). They are all sitting on the pub mantle next to the tree. Our hopes regards a certain tree at White Hart Lane include the oft mentioned Sandro plus some Centre Half back up. Ledley may be back shortly after Christmas but for how long. Without Woodgate as well we are thin.

 

Back to the Irish question surely some old form from Keane and enthusiasm from Russia would be welcome. Realistically the january window usually only throws up other teams cast offs and whats left over given the New Year fire sale season. Luck with injury helps. Our Modric back and a prolonged loss of Fabregasp will slow the goon gloaters up.

 

Cautious optimism abounds at our pub and perhaps a last word from the cautious representative ... our banker.

 

 " It's not the thought but the presents that count." The more three points the merrier we will be here at a very merry Kent Pub.

 

Cheers ... a safe Christmas to You and Yours ... a successful Christmas to the very seasonal Lillywhites ... Greg Meyer.            coys.

 

 

 

 

 Friday :  Fourteen Days Till The Sleigh Arrives.

 

 

 Heee's ... Back  !!!.

 

                                      

 

                                        

 

Thats him settling in comfortably , earlier this week, at our Kent Pub. His smiles galore hard to suppress after his return on 8 December against Grays Athletic for 70 pain free minutes.

 

Plenty of real ale was consumed at our team's pub meetings in celebration of the news all Spurs fans have been waiting for. Not sure if Luka drinks beer. Not sure what  Otvorem Radio Lager tastes like either. Thats the glass on the extreme right.

 

Luka graces our midfield in indisputable football grace and style wearing shirt number 14. Coincidently it was 14 weeks from that unfortunate tackle on 29 August till his return against Grays Athletic. Originally  scheduled against Hamilton Academicals. Sorry just intrigued by the names.

 

Things here have been a little gleefull.  Surely not just down to the return of our midfield genius. Yep something about that time of year and the attendant spirit, largely alcoholic here, thats in part to blame.

 

A final thought regards Luka . The link below certainly is apt and a celebration in song as well.

 

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D8qyk_1xudA&feature=related

 

The lady is of course Suzanne Vega. Another celebrity Spurs fan having penned that musical interlude. May also need a new song for ...

 

 

The World's Longest Name In Football?

 

Sandro Ranieri Guimaraes Cordeiro of Internacional is reputed to be in London having a medical prior to signing for Spurs.The 20 year old Brazilian midfielder joining Spurs would make that 2 signings in a week in the midfield department. Luka's return will seem like a new return. Sandro the destructive and Luka the creative has a nice ring to it. Certainly cause for optimistic consumption ...

 

At A Kent Pub.

 

Some opportunities lost says Mine host after the  Villa and Everton draws. Not all bad with our North london neighbours continuing to look vulnerable.Even if it is the under tens in Greece.

 

Liverpool vs Arsenal this weekend. Both are a threat to our "top four " aspirations. Our pub would happily accept a draw. Then again our Lawyer would rather a Pool win. For some, traditional feelings never die.

 

Wolves visit the Lane and our Banker predictably says a home banker. Unanimous chorous of agreement all round our cosy bar. Matched by a unanimous call for another last drink. Predictable!

 

Cheers ... hopefully he's on the bench tommorrow ...  Greg Meyer.                                        come on Luka.

 

 

 

 


Friday 27 November 2009.

 

 

Emirates In Crisis ...  No Panic Down The Lane ...  Managerial Comments.

 

 

Lets look at the Emirates crisis. Unfortunately it does not relate to Arsene Wenger's possible trip to a Belgrade placenta specialist for a miracle cure regards his famous near, non , short sightedness when viewing all things Arsenal.

 

No its the Emirates of Dubai who have struck serious financial trouble. Seriously speaking ... 40 billion's worth it seems. Strictly speaking that is some trouble. Hope the stadium sponsorship is okay says our pub Banker. Not sure where his tongue is on that comment.

 

Meanwhile back at The Lane it all seems steady levy ready as she goes. Harry in the headlines for "you know what" is nowhere to be seen. Peter Storrie stands alone in the dock.

 

Our pub has also calmed somewhat after the euphoric, some might say surreal, events of 9-1 saturday. Out and about our Roving Reporter was having a quiet beer with our inpub Journalist .

 

Given the personalities mentioned thus far as well as some other notables they unearthed some very topical comments. Alors ...

 

Managerial Comments.

 

Given the Emirates Crisis surely Arsene Wenger should kick off ...

 

                               " As long as no-one scored,it was always going to be close."

 

                              " Of the nine red cards this season we probably deserved half of them."

 

No wonder the sums aren't adding up real well in the Emirates family if Arsene has any input into le arithmetic.

 

Our Own Terry Venables ...

 

                             "Apart from their goals ,Norway haven't scored." Hmm something very Wengeresque there.

 

                            "It may have been going wide,but nevertheless it was a great shot on target." An eyesight problem. Mais non surely.

 

Seems to be a theme developing here. Missing targets financial and football anyone.

 

Finally our current Own Harry Redknapp...

 

                            "Where are we in relation to Europe? Not far from Dover." A geographical football lesson during his time at Southampton.

 

                            "I got a fantastic reception from the crowd here at Upton Park.- and why shouldn't I? Now I'm looking forward to getting one off the wife. Reception I mean. I'm too old for all that kind of stuff." Eyesight still seems okay.

 

With Harry at the helm our Pub tend to think he's not so prone to errors in the numbers game. Hopefully his accumulated football nouse will keep us top four. A subject much debated this week ...

 

At A Kent Pub.

 

Guess who sat next to Martin O'Neil at The Lane last Saturday. Yep David Bleat. Ex of Spurs now of Sky. Seems Martin O is taking tommorrow's late late show very seriously . What else would you expect. Our Lawyer suggests it was a calculated move to have the ex Spurs Director of Football alongside. Conspiracy theories aside Villa will be another of those must win games. They all seem to be that way when you are in the heady heights of top four.

 

Some light relief perhaps.

 

A bullet dodged with news today that Celtic's Scott Brown, regularly touted to be joining the Spurs midfield, is out for 2 months with an ankle problem.

 

However another one in the rifle breech? Surely Patrick Viera to Tottenham in the January window is a misfire.

 

Spirits are high here at our Pub. Mine Host reckons if we contain Villa defensively then the firepower up front might see Spurs across the line in a tight one.

 

Cheers .. Robbie Keane to start anyone ...  Greg Meyer.              coys.     Thanks to Football Quotes by the bye.

 

 

 

 Friday 20 November 2009.

 

 

An Inconvenient Truth ... The Hand Of Frog ...Ledley Visiting Belgrade Horse Specialist.

 

 

Perhaps its more of an awkward truth or even awkward inconvenience for Harry Redknapp. Wigan visit The Lane on Sunday and the awkward connundrum presents again.

 

Apologies to Al Gore,he of the inconvenienced presidential aspirations,who won the popular vote but not the ultimate presidential prize. Bit like Spurs at the footy really. One week you play Stoke off the park and fall to a sucker punch. Next quite the reverse a la Sunderland. One week it was awkward and then convenient albeit there were awkward moments when Darren Bent was allegedly inconvenienced by Heurelho Gomes. No matter an awkward spot kick was comfortably saved.

 

Back to that connundrum facing Harry Redknapp. Who plays up front and how does he continue to fit Robbie Keane into the equation. Certainly not a left midfielder. Our Lawyer as well thinks those suggestions of a "you have to play me " clause are well out of left field also.

 

Played eleven and Robbie Keane has started in all. Our pub would suggest his form has not warranted that staus. Harry's dilemna seems to be a compulsion to start him at the expense of balance and form. Early on the Defoe / Keane partnership was successful. The loss of Modric and the playmaking being mainly at ground level with him there certainly looked more threatening. Crouch has value but if he's to start then surely Keane should not be accomodated as a makeshift midfielder. Never was the problem highlighted better than Kranjcar repacing Keane against Sunderland. No Modric but it was an influential substitution.

 

Pavlyuchenko just adds to the inconvenience for Harry. Fourteen goals in 36 league games for Spurs after 82 goals in 167 games for Spartak Moscow is useful. This season certainly not a managers favourite and his cameos have understandably been inconclusive.

 

Is climate change to blame. Surely the move from inclement Liverpool back to the sunny south-east of Noth London is not a factor. As Rafa Benitez, currently with more problems than 10 planet Earths in the climate department, opined on Keane's return to Tottenham. He was a good player but just not playing his best at Liverpool.More of a fair weather man. 

 

Predicting the weather at The Lane on Sunday ( light rain and windy) is a little easier than who starts up front. Mine Host is betting on Little and Little to resume operations.

 

The Hand Of Frog.

 

Talk about inconvenient truths. The video replays galore which vividly displayed the contentious actions of Thierry Henri were certainly tres inconvenient for the ex Arsenal captain.

 

Football opprobrium in buckets  descended upon the Gallic cheat. Old heads in pubs about North London just nodded and muttered ....nothing new there. Shades of a North London derby given the Irish were captained by the present Spurs armband man with Henri's last club captaincy being with Arsenal.

 

Elsewhere at the Frogland F.C. there was good news and bad news.

 

Without wishing any serious career threatening harm it was good to see Van Persie bring a little realism back to the Wenger campaign. A key player in hot form out. Modric anyone.

 

Not sure his visit to a specialist in the application of horse placenta will help. Then again a phone call from Chez King To Chez Persie would do no harm surely.

 

The bad news was of course the rumours of the departure of Phillipe Senderous from Arsenal . No first team action this year and a possible departure in January. Our pub always have a bar stool available for him. A soft spot you might say for his soft defending. Some might say creative as well. With him there you always feel there's an opposition goal just around the corner. He does remind us of another of the Centre Back department. He who will feature on Sunday in ...

 

Wigan At The Lane.

 

Welcome back Titus Bramble. Titus has "previous" particularly when he was at Newcarsle in a comedic back pairing with another who has now gone to football grounds and stage shows in Italy. However the man once known as "Titus Shambles " does seem less comedic these days. An encore would  be welcomed by our Pub however.

 

Remember his Comedic partner. What a double act. Boumsong and Bramble. Jean-Alain and Titus Malachi. Nope they are not stage names but the real thing.

 

Wigan are a potential banana skin but our banker sensibly suggests if there are any top four aspirations lurking then you wouldn't lose to Wigan. Mind a victory over Chelsea means they are no push over.

 

At A Kent Pub.

 

I guess for an International break it had its moments. Nothing much in Dubai save for 4 Spurs turning out for England. Shame it was the C team. The World Cup qualifiers proved interesting. Gus Hiddink available at a club level surely. Referees under the spotlight again. Ergo Stade de France.

 

Speaking of referees. Peter Walton has the task on Sunday. Last and best known for his sending off of Wilson Palacios at Blackburn last season. His ineptitude is well documented at our pub.

 

Lets hope a referee clanger doesn't happen to stop Spurs most certainly staying top four on Sunday.

 

 

Cheers... top four ... has a nice ring to it ... for how long ... hmmm ... Greg Meyer.                 coytfs.

 

 

 

 Saturday 31 October 2009.

 

 

Halloween At The Emirates ... Why Magic Dictates A Spurs Win.

 

 

Later this evening at our Kent village the lanes will be thick with small and not so small pumpkins knocking on doors greeting the occupant with those time honoured words in celebration of a derby win ...

 

                                 c'mon you spurs ... well that should be the case just after the more usual exhortation of ... trick or treat.

 

Our pub's resident soothsayer has spent some time this week helping our Tranmere accountant ( and others ) demolish a particular number of pints of fine English ale. Their deliberations have been all to do with divining a methodolgy of how to win a North London derby.

 

After all it is 19 games since Spurs won over Arsenal in the League. They last won in 1999. Currently both teams occupy third place equal on 19 points. Doesn't take much to guess how many of those pints have been consumed.

 

So with luck and magic perhaps the football Ghods are aligning for a Spurs derby win today. Would be a lovely halloween treat but they'll certainly need more than mathematical omens in their favour says our lawyer.

 

Harry Houdini or Whizzer Fizzer ... Key Battles.

 

After Tottenham's great escape act last time out at the Emirates, a very late 4-4 draw, some of the creative magic is missing. No Lennon, Defoe or most disappointedly Luka Magic. More optimistically we may have King and Woodgate both available. As to some key areas ...

 

Palacios vs Fabregasp.

 

For once we appear to have some real steel in the middle. If Wilson stays close then the undoubted conjuring skill of the Spaniard may be neutralised.

 

King vs Van Persie.

 

Presuming thats how they line up and our talisman starts then Mine host breathes a little easier. The Dutchman is streets ahead of his Danish sidekick Bendtner. Unfortunately the problem doesn't stop there.

 

Corluka vs Arshavin.

 

Our lawyer still wonders how Arshavin "got away". We hooked Pavlychenko instead. The touted two or so extra million needed for Arshavin which Mr Levy and co couldn't find looks very unfortunate. The Croation passenger liner will certainly need help in dealing with the quick turning and agile Russian winger. Whilst all battles are vital it does leave one other interesting cash.

 

Crouch vs Gallas.

 

Crouch has excellent previous against Arsenal particularly whilst at Liverpool. Our pub just pray the ball is kept predominantly on the deck. That way the predictability factor will be overcome. When his height is in the right spot then is the time to use it.

 

Key Worries.

 

As ever our banker, the pessimistic one, mentions a couple. Mark Clutterbug ( he of the Mendes goal) is to officiate. Huddlestone in midfield will be stretched for pace. Keane scoring in the big ones is worrisome.

 

All with some credence says our journalist but who's next shout ...

 

At A Halloween Cave Near A Kent Pub.

 

Last weeks column made reference to a possible smash and grab raid. Bloody Stoke. Last time out at Emirates same ending. Perhaps those portents are lining up again. A Spurs smash and grab at Arsenal would be third time happenstance. 

 

A smash and grab Spurs win would make it a famous Halloween pub party.

 

Cheers ... we'll need all the luck and more ... magic wands crossed ... Greg Meyer.      coys.

 

 

 

 

Saturday 24 October 2009.

 

 

Spurs Go Top In London  ... Time: 5.00 pm today. ... A Birthday Wish.

 

 

If Blackburn do us a huge favour in the later game , beating Chelsea at home, then it really would be a fairytale story all round. Our pub will settle for 2 hours worth this week with a win against Stoke City. If we find faires in the bottom of the garden then you never know about the Chelsea result.

 

Its the clash of the Bournemouth boys this afternoon with Harry Redknapp and Tony Pulis renewing a friendship that started at Bournemouth in the 1980's. Just before addressing the niceties of the Spurs game a quick look over the fence ...

 

Balloons, Bankruptcy and New Scientific Help for Aaron Lennon.

 

The Balloons a Hoax.

 

Seems the authoritories finally worked out that the six year old Colorado boy never bought a ticket regards the trip. Does appear that dad will receive an actual ticket from the police. What some people will do to obtain a reality tv gig.

 

The Balloons a Beach Ball.

 

Our pub will take Liverpool dropping points anyway you want in light of our newfound challenge for the stratosphere of the top four. Our lawyer thinks Rafa Benitez handled a referee shocker with dignity in the circumstances. You'd think the Anfield pitch this sunday might be akin to a swift graveyard for any wayward beach balls. Even those, or particularly those, flying in from Manchester.

 

The Balloon Goes Up.

 

Poor old John Barnes was still coming back to earth after his ejection from the managers office at Prenton Park when news of his bankruptcy hit the airwaves. Our Tranmere accountant not being so afflicted stood us all a round this week . A comiseratory ale. Any excuse says Mine host. Our banker couldn't help noticing the reason given by the Barnes camp was something to do with a "tax oversight". Where have we heard that before? At least those rumours relate to Peter Storrie and not his good mate 'Arry so far.

 

Science To The Rescue.

 

Good news for Aaron Lennon fans this week. A couple of Bayern Munich boffins now suggest that it will be possible to travel at more than 186,000 miles per second. If so the Albert Einstein's theory of relativity will be down the plughole.

 

Our pub reckon the Spurs winger can probably get by in the pace department as is. As well we think noticeable improvement in the end product is coming along fine. Pity people like Jermaine Defoe cannot head a goal . Okay at tap dancing but that first half miss from 5 yards at Portsmouth nearly woke up Sandra Redknapp again. 

 

Stoke City at The Lane.

 

Our Lawyer is great mates with a Police Inspector based in lovely Stoke on Trent. The police view is predominantly pessimistic about  this weeks match. Policing is probably the key word.

 

If Ryan Shawcross measuring 6 feet can control Peter Crouch ( all 6 feet 7 inches ) then Stoke will start to put a foot in the door. No Robert Huth helps Spurs of course. Elsewhere however surely the home side have too many quality attacking options.

 

Last year at the Lane our challenge to science Aaron Lennon tore Andy Wilkinson apart. Even allowing for a Pulis gameplan  ( three up anyone ) surely there'll be enough space elsewhere to allow for sufficient Spurs opportunities.

 

Stoke are currently ninth. Given the League table never lies our inspector mate is hoping blanket Stoke security will stifle home town hopes.  Hopefully come 5.00 pm the Potters haven't performed an unlikely smash and grab raid. Should be celebrations again ...

 

At A Kent Pub.

 

As our run continues and the heady elixir of top three ranking permeates our happy little bar it would be churlish to look too far ahead surely. So long as the Stoke

game remains a fruit free zone (particularly bananas) then planning for "that derby" can be a timely game plan for the coming week.

 

Yes there is the small matter of a Carling game on tuesday. Hopefully our touted squad depth will prevail against a resilient Everton.

 

For now lets hope we spoil Roman Abramovich's bithday today on both fronts. A win over Stoke and c'mon Blackburn.

 

 

Cheers... the first wish would do ... Greg Meyer.                 coys.

 

 

Friday 16 October 2009.

 

 

A Reunion Party ... A Party At The Presidential Palacios ,,, The Mind Boggles.

 

 

Not Lasagnegate But Palaciosgate.

 

If its not a dodgy lasagne bringing Spurs undone and providing one of those ...

 

           "It couldn't happen here " stories

 

Then what other Football club could produce the Wilson Palacios no show pantomime at Fratton Park on Saturday. Yep Spurs have been advised that Wilson has been ordered to attend the Honduras World Cup qualification party.

 

Hard to ignore a smoking gun particularly when the man at the other end is El Presidente Roberto Micheletti. Roberto achieved his present position as team captain heading up a junta style formation after overthrowing the previously democratically elected incumbent.

 

So off we go to Portsmouth without our midfield enforcer owing to another enforcer having his way. It could only happen at White Hart Lane.

 

2009 Reunion Party.

 

By invitation only, seems with all those invitees in Portsmouth town that rumours of a slap up  do at the Royal Beach Hotel,South Parade , Southsea may have some credence.

 

I mean look at the guest list.Take Crouch, Defoe, Krankcar,and the Redknapp family including coach Jamie. Some either started at Spurs then left then returned from Portsmouth. Others arrived at White Hart Lane from Fratton Park.

 

Seated about the palatial banquet room we see the likes of Kaboul,Mendes, Michael Brown,and Jamie O'Hara. As well there's Sol Cambell arriving at Portsmouth, after leaving Spurs, a little more circuitiously . Rhymes with controversially. Nothing surprising there then. Even Steve Davis , ex Spurs, ex Portsmouth and now of Fulham receives a gold embossed letter.

 

So with all that bon homie and familiarity I guess come 3 o'clock on Saturday it will be hugs and kisses all round, hangovers permitting. Not on your nellie says our banker. A sentiment universal  this week ...

 

At A Kent Pub.

 

The Guinness is flowing tonight courtesy of mine host. Nothing to do with Robbie Keane though. Another famous Irish birthday.

 

Great to be back in the real world of football after the International Bore. Maybe thats why they were invented. Certainly the break whets the appetite even if it is a journey to the porta loos of Fratton Park. Still there is now a cover of sorts over the Away end ( couldn't call it a stand) . Luxury!

 

Our lawyer still reckons its one of your better away trips if you have time to stay on a day or so. The port fairly reeks of naval gunfire, Horatio Nelson, Hms Victory, the Mary Rose ... great stuff. The Isle of Wight is but a ferry ride away as well.

 

With Harry Redknapp turning a blind eye to the expected vitriolic "homecoming party" so long as Spurs apply themselves then they should have too much firepower up front for Portsmouth.

 

Cheers ... raise your glasses to Wilson ...  even if he doesn't drink ... not forgetting our Irish birthday boy ... Oscar Wilde ....  Greg Meyer      coys.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Saturday 3 October 2009.

 

Tsunami Hits Bolton ... Spurs To Surf To Victory.

 

Admiral Henry James Redknapp ( formerly of Portsmouth  amongst many ports in a storm ) and his merry band voyage to  Bolton for a 3:00 o'clock launch at The Reebok today. Thats presuming there's no man overboard call on the way. More in a moment.

 

The horrific devastation occurring in the Pacific this week won't be repeated at Bolton, geographically speaking anyways. The last earthquake there ( a mild 5.2 ) was at 1:00 am on 27 Febuary 2008. Before  considering the visit of a Spurs tidal wave  ...

 

A Quick Look Back.

 

Burnley were swamped by a classy team playing in second gear at times.  Mine host had thought a three goal gap was realistic. Oops the gulf was even wider.

 

Burnley were rather nice about it. No real on ball pressure and a seeming death wish by persisting in an attempt to play football. No disrespect but we even saw Tom Huddleston give an assured display of playmaking from centreback. Our lawyer reckons a rude shock awaits at the Reebok.

 

Ahead of Bolton the press has been awash with rumours of Harry Redknapp jumping ship. It verges on the ridiculous when the odds of him leaving the Lane (variously at evens ) are considerably shorter than a team in red hot form winning away at Bolton. Our banker, a man well versed in recent crisis, trusts its a beat up. Still with Harry's form the warning may be as short as the arrival of that wave in Samoa. Tabloidal gushings. Our pub fervently hope so.

 

Taking the Plunge At Bolton.

 

This game has the feelings of a sink or swim clash. Probably because we are in the somewhat unusual spot of fourth and hoping to hang on. Every game is important, blah blah, but if the 2009 New Spurs can negotiate this difficult encounter successfully then talks of receeding false dawns may have some foundation.

 

Jermaine Defoe has been fitted with a waterproof cast and so its all hands on deck as per last week. Our Tranmere accountant thinks most Spurs fans factor the name Kevin Davies into the away equation here. His physicality, legal and otherwise, needs to be doused. Usually scores against us, 4 goals in his last five against Spurs.

 

The Palacios effect may help in the physical stakes. Indeed it was against Bolton he made his debut for Spurs. Just hope he has the passing radar operating a little better than lately.

 

No surprise that all of Bolton's eight goals this season have come from setpieces. Not Spurs strong point in defence. See what we mean about sink or swim. Certainly a steep test but confidently awaited by all ...

 

At A Kent Pub.

 

Weatherman predicts light rain for the game. Of more effect perhaps will be Referee Mike Jones of Chester. The good news is that he has no previous with Spurs. Seems never to have refereed the Lilywhites before.

 

If Gareth Bale can break his hoodoo, last week's win at the Lane saw to that,then surely thirteen years since we won at Bolton in the League has to go today.

 

Our pub vote for a narrow away win to a team who may still turn out top four contenders. With the international break giving added recuperative time to Luka and Ledley that clash on 31 October at the Emirates looms ever more invitingly.

 

 

Cheers ... waving not drowning ... Greg Meyer.                  coys.

 

 

 

25 September 2009.

 

Lucky Harry ... Normal Viewing Resumed.

 

 

Don't change channels yet. Don't adjust your set yet. Put that remote down.

 

After the Stamford setback not helped by web(b) problems, howards way, the boys romped home in style away,away,a live oh.  Lucky Harry.

 

Okay lots of onfield space available at Deepdale but even so the finishing was clinical and rather classy at times. A backheel volley into the bottom left corner . Not an everyday viewers occurence. Thanks Peter Crouch. Our pub enjoyed the classy Spurs stuff that was mainly just that. Deck height and not much higher than your proverbial heel. Crouch to start on Saturday . A managerial puzzler. Lucky Harry.

 

Armchair Viewing.

 

Armchairs galore here at a Kent pup. Probably likewise at N17 Medical. Currently occupied by Jonathon Woodgate , Ledley, and the Mexcan wave fella. Among others. Michael Dawson escaped to Preston and hopefully Sebastien B. doesn't know what a Medical Room TV looks like. Back Saturday is great news. Mind apparently the King spends more time poolside at the Levy house than anywhere much else apart from roll call at Chigwell on Friday. Held mainly just to check if our Ledley is alive and ready. Lucky Harry.

 

Rewind To Last Sunday ... Just Briefly.

 

Yep I know its water under the Bridge but having overcome the post match trauma, or was it work on Monday morning, did enjoy the headline ...

 

 " Come Back Rob Styles All Is Forgiven." ...  source apologies but cannot remember ... you know who you are anyway.

 

Styles is at the very least inept to all. He plays no favourites when dishing out referee shockers. Webb on the other hand professes Wengeresque atrophyism ( Specsavers anyone) or as in Old Trafford and Gomes, apologises after the event and the three points. Big deal. Sorry whilst Chelsea were professional and likely winners, the Martin Cloake playing field tilt theory did seemingly sneak its head above the foxhole again. Oh for a level playing field against the top four.

 

Fast Forward To ... Burnley At The Lane.

 

The Turf Moor travellers are the first of 4 winnable games before you know who away at the Airport. Emirates nearly caused the worst Australian air disaster ever recently. Thankfully a major crash was avoided. On the law of averages are Spurs Air due a result at Emirates. You never know with Lucky Harry.

 

Provided we can close recent defensive gaps through which our pubs long distance haulier would adroitly manoeuvre a Mack truck then we should have enough goals in the right column on Saturday.

 

Looking ahead Hutton does seem an accident waiting to happen ( even at Deepdale on Wednesday ). Corluka at times does seem a charactature of slow motion viewing. Our pub doctor maintains you can see the Croation cogitate over which gear to engage .. before your very eyes. Most worringly there does not always seem to be a fifth gear in the home town Skoda. Still our lawyer reckons despite the casual style he remains integral to the team and after all he is Luka's best mate. Lucky Harry.

 

Blimey says mine host if we cannot turn over Burnley by the odd three goals then where o' where top four are you. Indeed some will be ...

 

At A Kent Pub.

 

A lot of us will be at the Lane live. Apart from MOTD highlights not sure of TV broadcasts.

 

Our team meetings this week have been very enjoyable. Despite Howard, and even in spite of Mr. Webb, we were pushing proverbial goods up a steep hill to gather anything against Chelsea. However in times past the Preston banana skin would have provided great skidding viewing. Nope this new Spurs played like a team with class and mental resilience.

 

No wonder optimism still abounds in Kent.

 

Just finally whilst Harry may be showing some managerial skills proper there seems no getting away from another essential quality becoming more evident. Arsene Wenger and " Lucky " Arsenal are professed to possess it in spades. Just lately perhaps the full force of a long managerial career may be looking like compulsory viewing for all Spurs fans.

 

Lucky Harry. Lucky Spurs.

 

Cheers .... about time ... Greg Meyer.           coyluckys.

 

 

11 September 2009.

 

 

The Cockerel Has Landed  ... Runway N17 Hosts Manchester United ... A Reality Check.

 

Tomorrow commemorates the first landing at Heathrow airport of that other famous bird, Concorde, in 1970. It's almost that long ,May 2001, since Spurs defeated United. Glenn Hoddle was your pilot on that flight.

 

Certainly Spurs Air with Captain "Bigggles " Redknapp controlling the joystick are maintaining heady altitude lately. Whether said elevation remains certainly depends on who is aboard...

 

Team Manifestos ... Arrivals and Departures.

 

Missing from the Spurs passenger list is our key playmaker Luka Modric. As big a loss as it appears our lawyer reckons the name King appearing in one of the back rows is more crucial. Bassong banged his knee in Gabon on Saturday but is likely to feature for Spurs. Thank goodness. The other Centre backs all currently have aerophobia.

 

Our pub believe Captain Redknapp will replace like with like. Croat with Croat. Kranjcar for Modric. All other seats to stay the same from last time. A certain forward occupying two seats for obvious reasons will appear from his considerable altitude as a sub again.

 

United Airlines look formidable as usual. Mine host having just flown in himself from holidays does suggest  Ronaldo having flown the coop along with Tevez leaves the chookhouse door somewhat more ajar. No Portuguese magician able to create illusions in penalty areas which lead to unfairly declared escape routes.

 

On that point traffic controller for the 17:30 flight will be Andre Marriner. Our lawyer says it could be worse. Webb, Styles, Walton spring to mind.

 

One significant arrival on the United sheet will be Rio Ferdinand. Recovering from injury Alex Ferguson rated his chances of playing as  ... " a chance.". Read that as code for he'll certainly be there at take off.

 

The Match ... Key Dogfights.

 

The United defence including Vidic and Rio means the world's current no one super sub Jermaine Defoe will have his work cut out. Elsewhere the value of everyday aviational equipment regards aircraft and football looms large. Read wings and Lennon in that order. The former indispensable and the latter's electric wingplay just as pivotal to Spurs recent and hopefully ongoing success. Will the canny Scot have engineered a plot to overcome the past dominance, read skinning, by Aaron Lennon over Patrice Evra. Triple teaming anyone.

 

With Palacios playing our banker thinks we are unlikely to be overun in midfield. Hopefully the Barcelona effect as evident very much against Liverpool will be evident early. Tremendous pressing by Keane, Defoe and all further up will help to keep United on the hop.

 

The threat of Rooney and the Bulgarian curse of an ex player scoring should just about be containable so long as the King is present. The Cameroonian team mates Sebastien and Benoit plus a rested Corluka ( an international suspension meant he did not start against England ) give us some solidity. Albeit it all seems to evaporate with no King. Ergo Birmingham second half.

 

A game that always puts you on cloud nine one minute ( two up before the Webb howler at Old Trafford last time) and then a crash dive to losing despair. Still we wouldn't miss it for the world and particularly the post match drinks ...

 

At A Kent Pub.

 

Casting about for inspiration our Tranmere accountant mentions the big victory by the Croation Spurs supporter over the well known Scot.  Yep Marin Cilic did upset Andy Murray at the US Open tennis earlier this week. Not sure if Sir Alex owns a tennis raquet.

 

Our pub reckon that so long as we avoid referee induced turbulence and there are no Webb or Clattenberg howlers then the Cockerel may well be still climbing high towards Stamford Airport at 7:30 pm on Saturday evening.

 

Cheers ... fasten your seatbelts for another roller coaster saturday ... Greg Meyer.                              coys.

 

 

28 August 2009.

 

Diving Down The High Road  ...  A Brazilian, A Frenchman and A Ghanaian ... Bonjour Birmingham.

 

Most of the attendees at our regular Kent Pub team meetings see water as part of the morning after antidote. Water sports are not usually high on the agenda but after the events at the Emirates Olympic Pool on Wednesday night the profile of ground based belly floppers has increased enormously.

 

Greg Louganis, Tom Daley and Eduardo Alves Da Silva.

 

Only one is apparently gay. Only one is English. Only one plays professional football with diving as a sideline.

 

Only two are legitimately able to execute a twist, pike and radical landing. No splash. Mind the third is certainly skilled in the springboard art and indeed on wednesday night received the official imprimatur from referee Manuel Ganzalez for his effort at minute 26 in the North London Emirates Pool against Celtic. No coincidence that they are sponsored by a specialist in aeronautical matters.

 

Louganis won multiple Olympic gold for the US while our own Tom Daley , still only 14, is diving out of Plymouth, where else, and very successfully so.

 

Reports vary as to whether a selectively myopic French manager saw the Eduardo double pike but perhaps he's seen it all before anyway.

 

The Robert Pires School of Diving has a distinguished list of graduates. None more so than Emmanuel Adebayor. Another Emmanuel, Eboue in fact, also completed the course with honours. Curiously when he transgressed the previously mentioned Spec Saver client roundly condemned his player's illegal plunging. The Champions League final against Barcelona. Arsenal lost 2-1 despite a penalty goal from the Eboue dive. Surely the loss didn't colour the managerial pronouncements post game that time.

This time though they did beat Celtic.

 

A balanced perspective of course sees honourable mentions in the available pool of contenders being awarded to Didier Zokorra and Didier Drogba. Emmanuel, Didier ...is there a theme here ... hmm.

 

As well the great Jurgen Klinsmann, Stephen Gerrard and Michael Phelps are distinguished and acomplished divers.

 

UEFA have decided to join the judging panel and may well mark down Eduardo's 10 out of 10 effort to perhaps a two game ban. The irony of sport as always ... it will not have the slightest impact (splash) on wednesdays football result.

 

Sandro Ranieri  ... Momo Sissoko ... Sully Muntari.

 

With the window but days off closing tabloidal speculation is at fever pitch. Still our lawyer and others here at our pub cannot resist dreaming. What a partner for Palatial the Inter Milan Muntari would make.

 

Informed gossip suggests Daniel Levy is in Brazil chasing Claudio's nephew. Our banker reckons both the chance of signing and there being a family connection are remote . Even more so the frenchman Sissoko arriving soon  in North London and not far from ....

 

A Kent Pub.

 

On paper, beer coasters and used pub bath room papers towels surely Birmingham are not a realistic chance against the current table toppers.

 

Crikey its great to be able to write that! For how long? Surely we can salivatate upon the prospect of  going into the Manchester United match unbeaten. What fun.

 

Cheers ... hope its a Home Banker on a Bank Holiday Weekend ...  Greg Meyer.                     coys.

 

 

 

 

 

26th August 2009 - The Perils Of Being Atop The Premier League.

 

                                                                  ... After all the Dream Speech is 46 years old this week. Condolences to Martin Luther King and Sir Bill Nicholson.

 

With tongues partly in cheek and shaking hands on palpitating hearts our Kent Pub Spurs faithful are downing some euphoric pints. Purely for medicinal purposes of course. I mean this top spot stuff could become a health hazard. We wish!  By the by there is a doctor in the public house and his hearty endorsement of our prescribed dosage of fine ale is very welcome.

 

Being top of the Premier league has its responsibilities legally, medically and otherwise. Expectations are considerably heightened thereby raising the emotional stakes and in some cases stress levels. See you thought it was all enjoy,take and no give.

 

A quick example. Our bank manager is far more worried about the present Spurs position than the global financial crisis ( gunners football crisis to some ). He seems very closely aligned to the Bill Shankley school of football philosophy...

 

                                                                   "Some people think football is a matter of life and death. I assure you its much more important than that."

 

No wonder Mine Host here at the Pub has fled to Tenerife after watching the Ashes triumph live at the Oval.. Can the heart , or liver, stand all this heady success. Back to basics says our doctor ...

 

So How Did We Find Ourselves Here In This Predicament At The Top

 

 

A Quick Look Back ... A Blind Spaniard Leaves The Lane Looking For His Spectacles.

 

Rafa Benitez probably threw more than his specs about at the post match press conference. Particularly in the Pool dressing room after the Spurs win on opening day.

 

Great memories of a profoundly clean strike by Bennie A-E and then as he walked off at the end did you catch the beaming smile and the emphatic V sign.We just love his infectious enthusiasm and revelatory play at left back.

 

As well both our gesticulatory challenged Captain Keane and Jermaine Defoe harrassed the Pool defence magnificently. Lots of pointing, shouting and importantly endless running.

 

Hull Ahoy And Away.

 

Captain Robbie had a blinder in the first fifteen minutes and we did set out a very confident attacking stall for a tricky ? away day game. A determined Defoe hatrick , a team determined not to fold, all added up to a proper result demonstating a gulf in class. Previously we beat them in China. Yes the gulf could be from here to China.

 

On To A West London Derby.

 

The beers went down very comfortably at our pub after a deserved result. Challenged at times but team play between Carlton and Jermain made it easier. Aaron Lennon's end product was very useful and the goal was an electrifying moment.

 

So out of all that lot we found ourselves top of the pile, however temporary, which led to some uncharted waters of discussion here at our pub ...

 

Traps Ahead For Young Players and Some Old Ones Too. 

 

 Across the great Spurs divide opinions vary from enjoy it while it lasts to yes we can push on and stay there at the top. Here at Kent Pub there are feet in both camps but general agreement regards traps that can be avoided and flaws that can be addressed.

 

Altitudinally Challenged.

 

Height does seem a problem, you know who Peter aside. Short corners were the order of the day against Liverpool. Worked reasonably well but we did seem to suffer the jitters against Hull at set pieces. Frozen to the spot in the case of their goal. Doesn't seem a terminal flaw when you revisit the prowess of our Ledley and the promise of Bassong who did head one home against the likes of Carragher and all.

 

Double Teaming On Lennon.

 

A tactic of 2 seasons ago which may have worked then but Aaron has matured somewhat. Very apparent West Ham had studied the videos of recent Lennon. An automatic double team  when he received the ball. Solutions of give and go and cutting inside rather than a consisten byline journey are available. Indeed the Lennon goal shows a recognition of how to beat the double team trap.

 

Hardly a classic inside run but with a stumbled assist from makeshift left back Spector nothing was going to stop a deadley left foot  finish that remains memorable in our lawyers mind.

 

Ledley.

 

Simply can he continue to feature for most premier games. Still our talisman let alone good luck charm. Kept Fernando Torrid quiet, no mean feat. Hull was no real challenge and did cope with a physically difficult carlton Cole. The Cole shot in the foot helped of course. Bassong as well was handy.

 

Still injuries will happen and so are we sufficiently covered . Seemingly reasonably so. Four decent strikers, a plethora of right backs, perhaps a little thin if Palatial is missing.

 

Climate Change.

 

Apparently a scapegoat for most things, rightly or wrongly. What is for certain there is an emerging change in the football outlook ...

 

At A Kent Pub.

 

Some notable pundits are talking of Spurs being up there this year. Our Tranmere Accountant reckons he might even drink with Alan Hansen on his next visit to the pub given Alan's kind words on Spurs potential.

 

Even the enemy are taking notice. Ken Sansom ( an Arsenal great ) is doing the tv rounds with Spurs a top six pick. He opines Henri was to Arsenal what Modric is to Spurs. Both run the team.

 

Elsewhere a much less published pundit earns our Kent Pub quote of the week . Tabloidal rumours of 23 year old Mario Mandzukic from Croatia and Osman Chavez , an international Honduran teammate of Wilson Palacios, both signing for Spurs evoked the following comment on the famous From The Lane messageboard ...

...

 

   " It's great see our new scouting network is just asking Palacios and Modric if they know of any good players back home."   Thanks Yeti.

 

Sean Connery, the real James Bond has a birthday this week, and as mentioned at the top Martin Luther King made that famous speech on 28 August 1963.. Not long after the Bill Nicholson dream had come to pass a year earlier.

 

Cheers ... I'm betting its closer to the dream of at least top four rather than fading and false dawns ... fingers crossed ... Greg Meyer.              coys.

 

Saturday 15 August 2009

 

The 2009 Spurs Vintage ...Tasting Notes On The New Vintage ... A Preview From The Kent Pub Cellars.

 

Just left Folkestone , having survived the Eurotunnel not to say our annual wine tour, and bound for the KentPub about 60 miles away. Shame to leave the vineyards of France as the place has gone mad celebrating the birthday of the  first chairman of Arsenal Football Club.

 

Napoleon Bonaparte is 240 years old today. They may need his tactical acumen in a difficult opener away at Goodison Park. Before we turn to matters of far more immediate importance regards some of our Pub off to N17 arriving 4pm this Sunday, a quick look at whats in the wine trolley this year.

 

Reds,Whites ,Not A Bad Mixed Eleven Plus Some Worth Risking A Chance On..

 

Mine Host is an ebullient host and given his profession ( centre forward for Colchester Academicals a long time ago he keeps telling us) no mug as to provedoring on matters wine and perhaps football. His tasting notes plus contributions from other regulars are presented with the rider that no accuracy is warranted , hopes galore are intended and if it all goes up in smoke and tears then another round of drinks and another season beckons next year.

 

The Back Shelf ...

 

  Whilst ageing apparently enhances your average red there is surely a limit ...

 

                      Ledley King  ... elegance assured and defying the march of time ... just.

 

                      Jonathon Woodgate  ... same vintage as Ledley ( 1980) .. hopefully the recent doctoring means he's not long away.

 

                      Sebastien Bassong  just turned 23 years ... a veritable quaffer by comparison to the others and our lawyer says fingers crossed for a Ledley successor.

 

Some other promising stuff including Kyle Naughton and yes a genuine French red from the vineyards of Lens, our Benoit Assou-Ekotto may continue last years parsimony at the back.

 

The Middle Shelves ...

 

Probably the most exciting possibilities for our Pubs Sunday lunch apart from the fizzy, bubbly stuff.

 

                  Luka Modric ... a 23 year old midfielder about to take this years show by storm. Initially thought to be far too lightweight by a certain French cognoscente.Our banker thinks Monsier Arsene should stick to an uncomplicated Beaujolais. Great quaffer and no risk of convenient blindness. Thats what it says on the label.

 

                  Aaron Lennon  ... probably like a Tesco wine of the week. Fast, fizzy, crisp with a definite aftertaste. The end product has been somewhat suspect but additional cellaring seems to be helping with that deficiency.

 

                 Wilson Palacios ... Honduras is not known for wine.Gin is the national drink. The way Wilson plays who cares. Adds much needed sediment and solidity to the sparkle of the above two.

 

Other old faithfuls are still on the shelf with tasting notes and opinions varying. Certainly Jermane Jenas adds some inventiveness and goals when served at the right temperature.

 

The Fizzy, Bubbly, Expensive Top Shelf Stuff .

 

Having avoided the last minute Bulgarian disaster of last year we do appear to have an interesting selection on the Drinks menu.

 

                Peter Crouch  ... 28 years since budburst and perhaps his best will blossom at the garden where it all began. Returning home amid mixed fans expectations our Tranmere Accountant reckons a bargain buy.. With England aspirations should not lack motivation. Surely anywhere is better than Portsmouth. Only joking Horatio.

 

               Jermaine The Religious ... definitely a champagne vintage ... lets hope the latest fizzing continues. Goals and menace galore.

 

               Robbie Keane ...  the only drinkable wine on the shelf in a lack lustre Irish attack against Australia midweek. A connundrum as to who he plays with and where according to the head Vigneron "Arry, he fits in.

 

              Roman Pavlyuchenko  ... nearly been in the bottle as long as Crouch, (27 years old),but has shown sufficient quality to threaten some good drinking this season.

 

Perhaps the beverages best left on the shelf this year are those most associated with potential heart seizure and flutter. A few less whisky Gomes moments would be very welcome ...

 

At A Kent Pub.

 

Excitement is running high here this week. Suddenly the pre season apathy, the floss that is friendly matches, now turns to the real thing. At home to Liverpool in the late late show on Sunday.

 

Mine Host has proved up to the task with everything from Tequila ( our Mexican Giovani ...  Ole) to fine Scottish Whiskey ( we think if he cuts down on the product our pacy full back Alan Hutton ) has a great future at the Lane. Marvellous how inventive pub drinking games are.

 

Perusing a pre game menu we are a particular threat on Sunday. So long as we don't leave the pre season form back in the night clubs and other Bently haunts, so long as Torres is kept sufficiently quiet,...

 

 then in the words of Songster Jimmy Webb of McArthur Park ( 63 years old today), it may well be ...

 

                "Up Up and Away for 2009 Spurs Vintage and beyond.

 

Cheers ... all aboard and see you there ,,, Greg Meyer.             coys.

 

 

 

August 13th 2009 - From A Kent Pub .... We Enjoy Voxpop.

 

 I enjoy reading Colin Ashby ( one time south coast resident and now happily esconced in La France ) ...

 

 I enjoy reading Sean Morley ( formerly of White Hart Lane and now further north ... mind his heart still lies in North london ) ...

 

 I enjoy reading Jim Duggan , still where he started ( thank goodness ) ...

 

 I enjoy Jimmy G  ( nearer South Africa than NL.) .. nothing wrong with that .... and all the other Topspurs Columnists.

 

 The Spurs Family is entirely global, just ask Steve in Mexico, or our Hong Kong people...

 

 Suffice to say from a Kent Pub we reckon Harry is not the Messiah nor is he a Ramos ( sponsored by Daniel Levy in another life. )

 

Long game short .. Modric for class ...   King for elegance despite aged knees ... Lennon for pace and exciteability... anyone of the front four to bang in lots of goals ...

 

After lengthy deliberation ... code for lots of drinks ... our best guess, a good go at fifth or fourth .. and hopefully some enjoyably classy football.

 

Cheers from all at a very optimistic Kent Pub.

 

 

Saturday 8 August 2009 ... The Week They Invented Champagne ... A New Vintage ... Past Vintages Revisited.

 

From A French Vineyard  ...  Not Far From Moussa Sissoko Territory.

 

In the week that champagne was invented by a sometime Benedictine monkish midfielder ...

 

                                " Come quickly I am drinking the stars."          Dom Pierre Perignon  August 1693.

 

Some 316 years later the corks were certainly popping at Chez Bent and the Bassong house this week.  Likewise at Harry and Sandra Redknapps. Sandra ever remembered for the goal that never was after Darren missed "that" header. Pragmatic transfer business by Spurs according to our lawyer. Again almost unspurslike given our scattergun approach in recent years. Perhaps the Redknapp influence should not be underestimated. Players leaving with that area relatively covered (Bent out leaving Defoe, Crouch , Keane and Pavlyuchenko.) and replacements being found with round pegs in round holes ( the Centre Back hospital  having a fit, young pacey recruit report for duty.)

 

Some of our Kent pub regulars have come ashore from the Mediterannean yacht and are scouting the French transfer market for Harry. Such is their dedication that a lot of research seems centred at various cellardoor establishments.

 

Certainly the french flavour has been prevalent regards our transfer aspirations this window.Bassong aside two other names have been prominently linked as cover for our remaining centre midfield area.

 

Changing Tastes and Changing Times .. Are Arsenal Really Slipping.

 

Probably just tabloidal twitterings ...

 

Patrick Vierra   33 years  dumped from the French national team   a reputed signing back to Arsenal.

 

Moussa Sissoko   19 years  into the French team replacing Patrick   a reputed target for Spurs.

 

If it all came to past then is it the mumurings of the changing of the North London guard. Our Arsenal mate at Kent pub looks a more worried man as each day of Arsenal departures ( Adeyoubayer and Toure ) and lack of arrivals happens.

 

A New Vintage.

 

This time each year a new crop of youngsters are heralded as the answers to our prayers. Hopes and expectations abound only to wither on the vine and find themselves still trying to keep the dream alive in less exotic veineyards such as Prittlewell, Essex.

 

This years crop include,

 

         Jake Livermore, a 19 year old midfielder, Dorian Dervite, a 21 year old defender, Danny Rose, a 19 year old midfielder, John Bostok aged 17 years, Dean Parrett aged 17 years, Jonathon Obika still an 18 year old striker, and Ryan Mason just 18 years old.

 

Terribly hit and miss but perhaps Livermore has the best chance this year. The rest may certainly go the way of ...

 

Recent Years Crop Failures having included,

 

        Chris Gunter, Lee Barnard ( yes now at South End United in Essex), Philip Ifil, Mark Yeates and others too obvious or boring to mention. Back to Livermore and he does seem to have the physique, composure and technique. Time will tell and many a beer will certainly pass as we watch on ...

 

  

From A Kent Pub.                                                                                        

                                  

Nine days to go. Seems longer than that. Perhaps summer holiday mode here at the Pub is still with us. The transfer window has produced a measured Spurs effort. Thank goodness the brinkmanship of the Berbatov window has become passe.

 

Perhaps  a pre season round of champers is not too presumptive. Apart from the war zone that is our centre back department ( with the loss of Woodgate and Dawson plus Ledley's prognosis dodgy as always ) Spurs do look somewhat settled.

 

Cheers  ... still love to break out the bubbly with a Sissoko signing ... yes champagne dreaming ...  Greg Meyer.                       coys.

 

Saturday  25 July in the Mediterranean ... Ahead Sunday 16 August ... Liverpool at The Lane ...The Anniversary of the Transfer of a Lifetime.

 

From A Yacht In The Mediterranean.... Not far From Patrick Viera Country.

 

This edition is being penned from a comfortable  ( not comatose ) deckchair floating in sunny Mediterannean climes. Forgive the occasional nautical reference.

 

Given a starless, pointless , Messiless Wembly Cup, no one here on the holiday yacht SS Kent Pub Spurs thinks we are missing or messing much. Perhaps a great excuse to catch up with mates over the summer break but as far as real football ....our banker wonders.

 

A somewhat unspurslike transfer window thus far. Nothing signed to spur the imagination nor expectation. Our pub do not look forward to "stellar" signings a la Viera or old boy Crouch. Yes an old youth boy and now 29 years hardly a Twelve Million buy. The return of an Arsenal Captain. No Thanks.

 

Seems our pub weatherman is spot on. Spurs in a holding pattern. Whilst our lawyer is salivating at a sensational transfer ... Huntelaar anyone .. Diarra still perhaps...Young too good too be true ..

 

Perhaps the greatest concern is the middle at the back.No Ledley, No Woodgate, No Dawson is troubling.Hmmmm.

 

Snapshots From Berbatov Lane.

 

We at pub kent lean towards a philosophical approach. Following Spurs that tends to be mandatory surely.

 

So when the Ronaldo to Real news came through there was a little smug satisfaction. Man U  turned the head of Berbatov with money .... Real repeated the exercise.

 

We think the loss of Ronaldo will prove gigantic when compared to the departure of Berba. In goal terms and player terms.  However nice to know your average smug Man U fan is feeling the same we did when his silky skills left the Lane for money. Our banker still has difficulties accepting the Berba departure. He is certainly not alone.

 

Still on Departures.

 

Casting about from our holiday boat , we hauled in a few football gemfish .... purely of a scottish  nature... the Gordon Strachan that got away...recently left Celtic and so won't be at the Wembley Cup. Probably another reason why he is held in high esteem at our pub.

 

Quotes you might enjoy ..

 

Reporter :  Gordon,can we have a quick word please.

 

                " Velocity"  walks off quickly.

 

Reporter : What is your impression of Jermaine Pennant.

 

               " I don't do impressions."            Remember Pennant being tabloidally linked to us in an earleir transfer window. Gone nowhere.

 

Reporter: So Gordon, in what areas do you think that Middlesborough were better than you today?

 

              " What areas? Mainly that big green one out there ."

 

Returning To A Kent Pub.

 

           Enjoying the cricket immensely here. We love Freddie and loathe the South Afrikan. None of us going to China but saving for a super sunday start against Liverpool.

 

           And therein lies the clue to the greatest transfer ever ... musically speaking with a pool flavour....

 

 August 16 ... We play Pool at the Lane ...same day ....

 

                      Ringo Starr  replaces Pete Best ... George who .. not another Mancunian stumble surely ....in possibly the Galacticos Group of all time musically speaking.  

 

See ... as another famous Liverpudlian opined football is greater than life  ... not entirely in agreement with that here at a kent pub .. but it does keep us sane and interested filled with sometimes improbable expectations and ever optimistic hopes and dreams for that coming Saturday game ...

 

Cheers  .... looking forward to that Lane opener on Sunday versus Liverpool ... Greg Meyer.                         coys.   

      

 

 

 

 

 

Disclaimer: Please note the words on this page are the opinion of the topspurs columnist and are just that, opinions, not facts and are nothing to do with Tottenham Hotspur Football club PLC. Just a supporter having his say nothing more nothing less. Any commentary on betting is meant for discussion purposes only and does not constitute any form of advice or recommendation.