The Kent Pub Column of Greg Meyer only at Topspurs

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Thursday 26 January 2011 ... A Special Birthday.

Spurs Season Saviour.

Steven Gerrard, Craig Bellamy,Wayne Rooney would all be welcome to join the mighty Spurs to rescue a recent rocky week. A controversial loss to Manchester City and a Manager under siege need more than the best efforts of Assistant Manager Kevin Bond. James Bond is not available but the legal equivalent is.

The eminent Queens Counsel who rescued Steven Gerrard in that famous assault case, and who was involved in the other matters listed, amongst many other famous cases is currently battling the vast resources of HMRC on behalf of our own Henry Charles Redknapp.

Introducing a legal player described as a "Super Silk" ...

one John Kelsey-Fry QC ..

described as a court room wizard his legendary skills sit easily with the bevy of super stars both on and off the field that he has represented.

Apparently his weeks work in having Steven Gerrard acquitted was worth 250,000 pounds. Carlos Tevez eat your heart out. Perhaps if Mr. Fry had been on the case for Carlos then the alleged 9.6 million pounds wages and bonuses he has lost recently might still be sitting in his Argentinian HSBC account. It probably not too late Carlos. Mind the queue for our man's services is somewhat akin to that line up for Spurs Seasons Tickets.

Whilst on the subject of renumeration our pub cannot but chuckle at the inherent irony in Harry's case. Allegedly its about non payment of tax amounting on various reports to approximately 30,000 pounds. Place that alongside our QC's bill and perhaps the protestations of the defendant start to gather some credibility. Still not even reached half time at the Southwark County Court and many a twist and turn yet.

For now our pub reckon the man who got Kieron Fallon off,the man who represents the Sharons, Stone and Osbourne, and as well a certain Roman Polanski comes well credentialled.

Among the plethora of reccomendations on his Cloth Fair Chambers website perhaps the most telling is the following ...

" hard to get, but once you do, you have a huge head start."

Our pub verdict is, not the sort of baggage you need in your 64th year when you are enjoying your first tilt at the top table, but seems as though Harry has the best and so have Spurs. Good Luck Henry Charles from all ...

At A Kent Pub.

Even John Kelsey-Fry's skills would not have accounted for the curse of Howard Webb last sunday. Little Scotty's head has recovered, Super Mario ( Super ..... ) has been belatedly dealt with, so what. A great performance by the lilywhites should have meant at least a draw and a bigger foothold in the title race.

Results elsewhere in London went our way. Our lawyer reckons a morale boosting extension of our Cup run followed by a sound victory over Wigan on Tuesday restores collective spirits all round.

Just suppose our legal Saviour cannot save our football Saviour (two points from and all that) then who moves into the dugout next.

Without stirring a hornet's nest, thats on friday night at Watford, guess who has a special birthday today. A man continually suggesting he wants to return to the Premier.

Yep, Jose Mourinho, self proclaimed Special One turns 49 today.

Cheers ....remember the name ... John Kelsey-Fry ... superstar ... Greg Meyer coys.

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TOPSPURS COLUMNISTS

Friday 13th January 2012 ... Lucky For Some.

The Elephant In The Title Race.

Spurs won their opening day Premier game in some style against Everton. The result meant equal top billing on 13 August 2011 when it was due to be played. Postponement until 11 January 2012 meant the three points banked still placed them very near top billing. Who would have thought that the doppleganger effect might play out when the riots forced the delay.

More thoughts on the Everton win shortly after we visit that elephant lurking in the Spurs title race aspirations.

An Elephant At White Hart Lane.

Nothing to do with those unecessary gibes concerning the day to day occupation of our premier striker's father. Surely tabloidal gossip that dad is an elephant keeper. Many a worse job to be had anyway says our pub's driving instructor.

Nothing to do with those everyday title race discussions. You know the ones like "all depends on injuries", "United's mental toughness will be a big factor", and " two big transfer window signings will make all the difference".

No the big game kicks off on Monday 23rd January at the Southwark Crown Court. An away fixture involving Henry James Redknapp, Milan Mandaric and HM Revenue and Customs. The court case centres around payments made into a Monaco bank account. The indictment alleges sums totalling $290,000 are involved.

Reknapp and Mandaric were apparently first arrested in November 2007. Given its now over 4 years later perhaps the polite thing HMR&C could do is put it off till seasons end. The elephant could be quietly returned to his stable or wherever it is that elephants live thereby settling many a Spurs fan's nerves, temporarily at least.

Speaking of wolves wearing suits ( only joking .. to all hardworking tax collectors everywhere ) they turn up in earnest tommorrow at the Lane.

Toffees Consumed Comfortably ... Wolves Hopefully A Dance In The Park.

Everton Shorts ...

Benny ... we all knew another was coming right after that first against Liverpool. Worth the 2 years plus wait.

Lennon ... just has to keep remembering, must not pass back, must try and take him on. Worked a treat against Leighton Baines.

Van der Vart ... what hamstrings, what sort of funny way I run. Sort of a dutch waddle with no reference to a certain Spurs legend,Chris. The new and energetic van man.

Modric ... he may not have the shot of an elephant on him but our lawyer was again mesmerised by the skill of his passing. Vive la finesse.

Everyone else ... a team playing with title belief.

Wolves Visit and What To Expect.

A packed midfield with physical harrassment of the highest order. Henry and Frimpong in particular.

No James O'Hara. Still out injured. At least that takes the ex player scores goal out of the equation.

Surely a pumped up Adebayour given he has next week off against City.

No Webb, Foy or Clattenberg. Mike Jones is officiating. Anything than the aforementioned trio is a plus.

A vocal contingent attending the Lane from some of the regulars ...

At A Kent Pub.

Come Saturday evening the headlines will hopefully read,

"Spurs Go Joint Top."

Our pub was bemused this week to hear Arsenal and Chelsea fans voicing serious concern at the gap to Spurs. Our surveyor merely points to other news of a 34 year old Legend being asked to return from America to save a season. Speaks for itself. Desperate times indeed.

Cheers ... music to our ears at the pub even if he did score against Leeds ... Greg Meyer. coys.

Tuesday 27 December 2011.

What Luka Modric Got For Christmas.

Apparently nestling under the tree at the Modric household amongst presents galore was a Christmas card from Sir Alex Ferguson. It fitted nicely with those other assorted “jokes” variously associated with the middle of Christmas crackers.

The return address on the back of the card was courtesy of the Daily Express.Obviously an enjoyable and inventive Christmas party at the Express. Seems the Manchester Santa look alike (red nose for purple aside) was offering 30 million for Luka. Maths is not a tabloidal strong point. Chelsea were knocked back in the summer offering 40 million.

Still set some of our number here at the pub ruminating on who got what for Christmas in North London.

Christmas Presents and Christmas Wishes.

Just a sampling from the magical time of make-believe.

Daniel Levy.

A very big laugh after reading about the latest tabloidal science fiction regards Luka. Yes there appears some interesting manoeuverings over the signing of a new contract. Still appears Luka is keeping his options open. However his previous reported distaste for the chicken badge seems to be going down the gurgler as fast as his previous suitor’s title chances.

The Players Christmas Tree at Chigwell Lodge.

In the season of goodwill and giving our pub have been a little overwhelmed by the largesse of Chelsea, Man City and Liverpool. All dropped points yesterday in very winnable games.

Our lawyer has the temerity to suggest submitting a late request to the older bloke with that big nose. Further north of Manchester. Arsenal at the Emirates to Wolves. A bridge too far even for Santa.

The Hamstring Club.

This newly formed organisation is gathering members faster than Aaron Lennon before he joined the club. Our wishes include that Rafael and Younes do make it today. Perhaps both might just skip the warm up routine and particularly in Rafael’s case clock off at say the hour mark. Mind Defoe may not be there to come on yet.

On The Russian Front.

Spotted under the tree at 17 Connundrum Place were various shiny new books. A well meant tome was titled “English ... A Challenge Not A Limit.” More conspicious was a paperback headed “How To Stand Up In England.” Would have been useful against Chelsea.

Our pub are Pav supporters but he is certainly stretching the friendship. More of Sunderland please.

Trust you and yours received part of what you wished for. Our regulars certainly made full use of the break with a sumptous dinner ...

At Our Kent Pub.

HMS Beagle set sail about 180 years ago. Today HMS Hotspur heads for Carrow road. If our normal crew’s attitude is on display then we should return with three points.

At least the curse of Howard Webb will be avoided. Michael Oliver is the referee. The Webb factor fortunately was missing mostly against Chelsea. Adebayour stayed on the pitch but then mysteriously had a perfectly legal winner ruled out.

Not so mysterious yesterday. The game changer was at it again in awarding a “penalty” to Leon Osmond.

Still as birthday girl Marlene Dietrich famously opined ... “Darling, the legs aren’t so beautiful,it’s just that I know what to do with them.” Hopefully Ade, Gareth and co are listening.

Cheers ... fingers crossed bananas are absent at Norwich ... Greg Meyer. coys.

An Operatic Friday .. 2 December 2011.

Adebayour Bigger Than Modric ... According To.

Kevin Davies is all that stands between Spurs and second place come late Saturday afternoon, London time. Later on Manchester time, a certain United mob should keep the seat warm for us after beating Villa away.

Think Bolton and our pub invariably think Sam Allardyce and Kevin Davies. Both very obdurate characters. The former best known for his non-stop gum chewing. The other for inconveniently placed elbows and against Spurs inconvenient goals. Still there has been a climate change at Spurs since those days. Convenient that we now seem to have belief. Thrown in a run of winnable games and the New Year is very scary. More altitude sickness looms. A convenient truth perhaps. Spurs going for the title.

So whilst Bolton are hardly a one man team ,surely with Kaboul's physicality and the knowhow of Spurs Mr. Serene alongside him then Davies should be sufficiently contained. Goals should flow from a returning Van Man, possibly Bale and with his finishing boots on this week an in form Adebayour.

Adebayour has scored seven goals in ten League starts. So lets revisit that headline.

Adebayour Was Signed and Modric Was Retained.

Our lawyer makes the case that we can win without Modric(West Brom) but not without Adebayour (PAOK). Yes overly simplistic. Both are superstars.One is a water carrier and the other usually a finisher. Indeed Ade manages to finish lately using the goalkeeper as a wall pass. Remember the penalty. Remember the scuffed second off Carson against Brom.

Spurs have a midfield of riches galore. The envy of many including Chelsea and in Bale's case Barcelona. However the PAOK game at home no less, against 10 men no less, showed less is true as to our strike force. Defoe is usually and lately useful. Not so on Wednesday. Harry, no first touch, Kane. An ambling and amiable Russian . Unfortunately none in Ade's league.

Back to that headline. If Adebayour is injured our chase for fourth let alone the top job looks mortally wounded. So yes he is bigger than Modric. Of course if Mr. Levy had not kept Modric then Adebayour would possibly have not signed. As well other jewels in the crown including the boy Bale might have started looking to other horizons. It is a team game and currently Spurs have a team full of spirit.

Of course if Arsenal lost Van Persie, Liverpool misplaced Suarez, Rooney got lost in space, and City had no Aguerrothen the Spurs plight would not look so bad. Yes I know Chelsea are in the race but on performances lately they have already lost Torres, Drogba, Anelka and Lukaku. Metaphorically speaking in part.

Back in the real world the result in Europe on Wednesday was treated very philosophically ...

At A Kent Pub.

Our banker deemed it boring whilst our cabbie enjoyed Modric and shuddered at the efforts of another Lee Barnard. Sorry Harry but apart from the anonymous first touch there were portents of Sandra Redknapp in that missed header.

Better news is the paper talk of us signing Jan Vertonghen. A 24 year old Belgian Centre Half, currently captaining Ajax. Looks the goods and touted Arsenal and Barcelona interest means he may be some way ahead of BonganiKhumalo. Another anonymous buy and currently on loan to Reading.

If you are grappling with those names then think back to last week. Chelsea were rumoured to be signing Ricky vanWolfswinkel.No we are not making it up. Currently a striker with Sporting CP in Portugal.

Lets hope Christmas comes early at the Lane tommorrow.

Cheers ... Maria Callas would be 88 toaday ... Greg Meyer. coys.

Sunday 27 November 2011 ... Teemu "Darren Anderton" Tainio's Birthday.

What The Papers Should Say ... A Cure For Altitude Sickness At Spurs.

What else than a Sunday lie in, a saunter up to our Pub, an early coffee before Steak and Abbot ale pie for lunch, all washed down with a leisurely ramble through the Sunday papers.

Not going to bore you with a match report but some of our number have some thought on shorts that should make the news.

Moments That made Our Saturday and Others That Amused Or Informed.

Ledley started and finished another match. The rest is obvious. Just ask the Sky commentator opining about the value of a good luck charm. He can play a bit too.

The little sports car again looking dangerous and prepared to use the accelerator. It was Arron's assist for the first goal.Our little left winger is looking potent again. Obviously prefers rightside but given the double teaming on Bale the second half wing swap made sense. Bale featured on the assist sheet as well.

Adebayour looked up from the off. His chasing and work ethic were impressive.His finishing less clinically so but they went in twice, just.

You would bet the papers will run the line that Spurs won without their two big guns. As well Spurs can play better but won anyway. Music to our lawyer's ears. Sounds a little like tabloidal thoughts usually reserved for Man United. Maybe this new Spurs is the real deal. Third last week and still there after a prickly away assignment.

Talking of Man United. Nothing warms the cockles of our Tranmere Accountant's heart than the sight of an apopopelctic Sir Fergsuson in full red nose rant mode. Usually means daylight robbery has occurred at Old Trafford. Newcastle did us a good turn with a fortunate draw.

And further on the subject of refereeing. Not Mike Jones at OT but Lee Probert surprised all here with a respectable display at the Hawthorns yesterday. His penalty decisions were correct and he earnt respect with a composed display. Even when the game got edgy.

As well the yellow card he gave to Mulumbu after the Congolese called for one following an incident with Sandro was priceless.Demonstrated proper referee largesse. Firstly Youssouf remember old English proverb, be careful what you wish for. Secondly it is a pet hate of our cabbie here, so he thinks good on you Lee. It may be a new directive from on high on just excellent proactive refereeing from Mr. Probert. Said he had a good game.

The icing on the cake was made in Holland but occurred just down the road from White Hart lane.. Martin Jol's Fulham almost made it but the draw with Arsenal was great for Spurs.

So Sounds Like A Lazy Afternoon Here At A Kent Pub.

Debate will prosper here this Sunday arvo. Mine host says thats why they play games at the proper Saturday afternoon time. Gives you time to bask in the glory ( that word again Danny B.) of Tottenham Hotspur on a leisurely Sunday.

We will spare a round as well for the man who rivals Darren Anderton for most appearances at the Chigwell Lodge treatment rooms. Now of New York Bulls Tainio Teemu is 32 today.

Cheers ... Daniel Blanchflower had these Sundays in 1960-61 ... our best start since then ... Greg Meyer. coys.

Linda Laflamme's Birthday .. Friday 25 November 2011.. Rock On.

Dear Roman .. Condolences .. Cheerfully Yours Luka.

In the warm Mediterranean July sunshine aboard Eclipse, the world's largest private yacht, (at 164 metres long it would overhang our beloved Lane pitch by a minimum 64 metres), it was all Croatian and Russian bonhomie. Captain Abramovich had his eyes on charting Chelsea upwards.A new crew member in midfield.The simple matter of 24 million pounds and Tottenham Hotspur's most prized asset moved to a London rival. Fait accompli ! As Arsene would say.

Enter Daniel Levy and the rest is not merely history but fast entering Spurs folklore.Much to our present unabated joy the ship Luka never left the port. So it was not surprising when our Luka Modric Appreciation Society ( Official Kent Pub Branch) received the following copy missive this week.

Another Letter From Luka.

Dear Roman,

Hvala again or as you say in Russia, please pass the Vodka bottle. Yes understand why you need it at present.Shame that nice young Mr. Boas is not off to bestest start.

Luka, Mrs Luka and littlest Luka thank you for wonderful holiday on your very big yacht. Little Luka still talks about the fun playing coits and deck football. Well he helped watch from his stroller whilst mummy and daddy played a Croatian version of the same game in our very very big bedroom cabin.

Luka's agent says to say very sorry Mr. Levy lost key to Tottenham dressing room window. Seems by the time the key was located it was a little late. You know what its like. Holiday lag perhaps.

No like to cock-a doodle-do but chicken badge doing very well so far.

Seems us Croatians can jump to silly early conclusions.Chicken badge with little Scotty Parker, retro all round ,doing rather well.He is still talking about those early McDonalds ads in dressing room and whats worse in huddle on pitch. Benny doesn't listen or understand even when he gets to huddle. Not sure which is worse haircut Benny or Scotty.

As to room sharing with Mr. Terry.

Again seems Mrs Luka was right about Luka sharing room with Mr. John. Mind no one in Zagreb believes a word about him and Anton. Then again not sure if they know who Anton is.

My new found close personal friend Daniel is still threatening me.

Now its about signing a contract of 100,000 pounds per week. Mrs Luka still talking to mother in Zagreb about that. Might drag on a little.

What can Luka say?

All normal agent public relations spin going on. All normal tabloid fodder stuff. But me and Niko( remember him .. very good and handsome midfield attacker), and Vedran( also very movie star looks) had great trip to Turkey and home recently. No laugh but Vedran scored a goal. So out of that in your times of trouble wise old Croatian saying comes to mind.

A Croation Proverb To Help Chelsea.

A couple in fact.

For poor old Andre V-B ..

Bez muke nema nauke

Without suffering there is no learning.

Vedran says Chelsea fans hope learning comes quicker and start winning.

For Daniel Levy and probably Roman Abramovich too.

Bolje vrabacu ruci, nego golaub grani

A sparrow in your hand is better than a pidgeon in the bush.

Daniel is the one laughing.He keeps going on about someone called Edith Piaf. Apparently genius midfielder in Paris team.

Am closing with fondest regards Roman but

Mrs Luka is very happy at afternoon tea parties with Sandra, ( Harry is never there), Sylvie and Damien, ( Rafa usually working on troublesome hamstring),and Ledley brings his son along so that he has someone to kick the football with.Dad only plays on weekend.

Hope things work out, but not too much. I am sure that nice young Mr, Villas will try hard. Oh I see Mr. Guus has his mobile turned on . But then again you already knew that.

Cheers and Condolences,

Luka, Mrs Luka and littlest Luka.

Meanwhile At A kent Pub.

Still basking in the glory( thanks Daniel Blanchflower) of a very classy display against Villa. No judge of whats ahead though.

West Brom will press, harry , kick and shove. So if our credentials to altitude sickness bear any merit then Spurs must win at the prickly Hawthorn venue.

Our pub think yes. The team ethic and spirit dictates that the real, new Spurs should be there. If so then alls well.

Pretty good here at our Pub. Hope alls well with you.

Cheers ... Kent Pub proverb ...

"Turn up,play the Spurs way and the result takes care of itself."

Great time to be a Spur ... Greg Meyer. coys.

20 November 2011 ... A Sex Symbol Turns 55 ... Surely Not.

When Harry Met Daniel Who Met Carlo Who Met Gus ... Another Job Interview.

First it was the elegant Italian reclining outside the Chairman's palatial office suite,High Road ,Tottenham. So whats an avuncular looking Dutchman doing in the same spot sporting a natty bowtie and an engraved watch bearing the inscription "All the best from your Chelsea Team 2009." Two days later in May 2009 it was the said elegant Italian interviewee that took over his Chelsea job as our Dutchman returned to Russia.Small world. Ironic world.

Within the mandatory briefcase (embossed in gold with the Initials G.H. as if you hadn't already guessed) nestling in the Dutchman's lap is an illustrious Curriculm Vitae. Probably second to none. Unlike Carlo there is a glowing testamonial from Roman Abramovich. Indeed that might be a clue to the size of the task facing our Daniel in obtaining the services of the well credentialled Herr Hiddink.

On the World stage he is a national hero in South Korea, would probably get the Aussie prime-ministership if he wanted it, as well as a semi finalist with Holland. On the club level successful at Chelsea and a European Cup winner managing PSV just to name a few.

Too big, too successful, and too expensive for Spurs? Despite his recent Turkish Euro belly up at the hands of our Luka and others, a manager of his calibre, his charisma, his undoubted man maneagement skills and head for the big stage make him very sought after.

So why the suggestions of discrete discussions over the management structure at our North London club. Of course most recently the manager causing the fuss was Senor Villas-Boas and his chasing of a certain Spurs superstar.

The L. Factor.

Not our Luka this time but a certain Judge Anthony Leonard QC is the cause of managerial cogitations and those somewhat subdued evening meals at Chez Sandbanks. Sandra's culinary expertise is being called upon to keep spirits up. Nothing to do with her undoubted talent at scoring unmissable headers this time. Ironically enough young Darren Bent does crop up next at the Lane on Monday night.

Henry James Redknapp has an away match set for 23 January 2012 at the Southwark Crown Court.With the Storrie and Mandaric recent tax case being finalised, apparently in favour of the away respondents (some cause for encouragement for Team Redknapp no doubt) then the reporting ban has been lifted.

Our pub lawyer reckons it is not an easy one to call.A common Crown tactic of hoping the mud belonging to a co defendant is sufficient to stick fatally on the other is possibly in play. As well seems there is a torturous paper chase extending from England, Florida and Monaco at least.

Was the alleged transfer to Mr. Redknapp merely a loan or as the Crown seem to assert a payment upon which tax was due. Certainly not an easy one to call this far out. Particularly with a reporting ban having just been lifted. The heat is on in a certain Sandbanks kitchen.

Much easier to call and swapping hospitals and court rooms for a familiar dugout, welcome back Harry to White Hart Lane for the coming of the football Villains.

A Quick Look Around At A Kent Pub.

It's tight for third at the moment. If we beat Villa then we join Chelsea on third with a game in hand. So long as Liverpool fall at the Stamford Bridge today.Newcastle also on third have begun their descent says our flower gardner.

We have the classier attack, and with you know who still at centre back then surely enough to snuff out the threat of Mrs Sandra Bent and Gabby Unspellable. Both doing well so far for Villa.

Speaking of our centre back Rolls Royce surely a candidate for the Oops ,I'll Say That Again Differently Department. Reports this week were talking of an England return. Look after his last World Cup 45 minutes(his only game) lets just hope there are enough games on the meter this year for a Spurs return next year says our cabbie.

After two weeks on International holiday our pub are just looking forward to seeing Van Man, Gareth, Luka, Ade, Little Scotty, new found superstar Kyle and a host of others. A mouthwatering prospect.

Speaking of superstars. For all you cricket lovers Australia have just unearthed a fast bowling superstar. Pat Cummings, 3 years younger than Gareth Bale, has just taken 6/79against South Africa on debut. His fourth first class match.Mind S. A. will probably romp in with a Test victory.

Before we go, that sexy 55 year old birthday. Bo Derek who our pub playboy, Mine Host, says has aged beautifully.

Cheer ... great to have some proper football back ... Greg meyer. coys.

Saturday 5 November ...Saint Nayim Day.

Sebastien Swansong ... Martin Jol Revisited.

An accident waiting to happen did happen. Again. Sad but true. An unfortunate football story.

The moment his second touch turned into one fatally too many, collective hearts here at our pub sank. You knew what was coming next. A frantic recovery lunge was easily categorised as a clear foul. In very dangerous actually fatal teritory as it turned out.

Memories of that not long ago clumsy penalty give away sprang to mind. Look he's probably a lovely bloke and yes has been loyal to the cause.Yes he's there given our frugal health in the centre back department presently.

His timing earlier in the week was uncannily accurate. Shame about his efforts in Russia. In the Standard on Thursday he outlined his situation. In essence it was his Spurs days are numbered regretfully so.

So long Bassong could have been the headline then and especially soon.

Yes Russia was hardly down to Sebastien but more so to having no cutting edge in the second string locker. Still should qualify for the next European round which was no doubt noted at a small Spanish village with eternal Spurs connections.

The Goal That Went All The Way from Paris to White Hart Lane.

In the last minute of extra time in the UEFA Cup Final 1995 Mohammed Ali Amar better known as Nayim launched one from the half way line. Straight and true it flew over the cuckoos nest that was David Seamans head. Real Zaragoza 1 Arsenal 0.

Deep in the Aragonese in the little village of Trasmos, at number 44 'Gol de Nayim' Street lies our Spanish sister pub. Not sure if Nayim is a regular but not hard to guess who the locals venerate if they have named a street after him. Nayim and Spurs in that order. Birthday drinks today for a 45 years young Nayim.

But we should not linger as the Spurs of today would make Nayim proud with expectation.

A Day At the Cottage.

A great day for conspiracy theories with superstition galore.

Martin Jol to avenge his mismanaged departure. A host of ex Spurs to score. Bobby Zamora, Danny Murphy, Stephen Kelly, Simon Davies (bung knee makes it difficult).

Our pub are just disappointed that Senderos is out injured. The ex Arsenal accident will be missed. No Send in the Clowns theme music. They still seem to be doing the same musical theatre down back at Arsenal says our gardener.

The long Spurs trip to Russia theory and the full strength Fulham team mid week.Ergo they will be tired and our first team non travellers will be fresh. Bollocks says our cabbie. All will be fresh for both teams on Sunday.

Peter Walton is a non controversial choice for our pub. Always looks as though he should have retired 20 years ago but hope for some of the elders at our pub. Age is no barrier.

Surely Ade is due a goal, Lennon is on an upward spiral and hopefully Sandro gets some decent minutes. Our pub are immune to conspiracy theories but do believe in class over cottage industry.

Cheers ... lets dedicate a hoped for win to a 45 year old legend and a 64 year old recovering manager ... Greg meyer. coys.

Maradona .. Fifty One on Sunday 30 October 2011.

Modric Future Solved ... That Job Interview.

An elegant Italian looking gentleman sits in a plush leather lounge adjacent to an impressive looking oaken door . The sign on the door unmissable. Daniel Levy .. Chairman.

The recumbent 52 year old sits nervously fidgeting with an embossed leather briefcase bearing the initials C.A. Inside the briefcase a fascinating assemblage of testimonials and the like. Nothing from a certain Roman Abramovich however. Understandably so?

Peeking out the top of the Armani suit breast pocket a glimpse of an expensive looking envelope. Therein lies the secret behind the ex Chelsea managers appointment.

So whats in the letter ...

Dear Daniel,

Rumours of my wish to retourno to il calcio engleesh are well founded. Without wishing to be how you say molto pushy I too have read lots of Harry's possible arrivederci. Of course I too am sadly familiar with the arriverderci thanks to Roman's brutissimo judgement in May this year. Et tu ,Roman. Si Carlo.

My great English pal Senor Ray Wilkins and I are currently running a T-Shirt business doing very well. " Bring Back Ray." is still selling well. After Chelsea's bad luck lately we expect that one still has some legs in it. The John Terry line unfortunately seems to be slipping (pun intended). Particularly at about 85minutes into the unfortunate game at Stamford Bridge.

But Daniel I digress. Back to the subject of arriverderci and might I offer my congratulazione on your handling of the Modrico affair. Keeping el bambino Luka longer term is vital. So comme hai fatto? Scusa! So how do you do it?

Ole.I have the perfect solution. With Harry going sooner then if you don't want to let Luka go to Chelsea then bring Chelsea to Luka. Carlo to the Lane.

I look forward to the opportunity to discuss my grand plans with you in more detail,

Cio,

Carlo.

The Contents of the Briefcase.

The usual and not so easily obtainable paraphanalia. Great playing record, great managerial career in Italy including the European Cup as player and manager.

On our home front he did the double in the English Premier with Chelsea in 2010.

Russian Champions League ambitions being thwarted led to his obvious downfall when he was ignomiously sacked in May 2011 by Roman Abrovich.

Lots of other glowing references but should matters go belly up for Harry at the Southwark County Court, presumably to be heard before the turn of this century, then is he welcome at the Lane. Certainly a talking and drinking point this week ...

At A Kent Pub.

Our banker reckons the stats are in his favour. Whilst at Chelsea and in the process of winning the League his team scored goals galore. Their 103 goals was only the second time the 100 mark had been passed in a season. The team to have done it first. Spurs, naturally, in 1962.

His appointment would signal continued ambition by Spurs. His credentials as a man manager are proven and says our lawyer he does seem to speak English even if it is italian english at times. Mind the conversation as to Carlo or otherwise continues.

Coming back to proverbial turf later today a London derby last played when Carlo was probably still playing. Some of our number are going albeit maps and directions will be needed. Seems a long time since we were last at home.

Success today really does put us into the upper echelons. Level with Chelsea (sorry Carlo) and still ahead of you know who and Liverpool. Surely no bananas or altitude sickness to be seen.

Cheers ... our pub would rather keep both Harry and Luka at this stage ... Greg Meyer

Saturday 22 October 2011.

Modric In Europe ... A Good News Week All Over.

Well he finally made it at the 73rd minute. Onto White Hart Lane and into Europe trotted our littlest Croation midfield general against Rubin Kazan. The cheer here at our pub could have been heard around the world.

Does that mean he is cup tied for the January window. Probably doesn't matter in any event. Our Daniel is not letting him go anytime soon whatever the cup or competition. No we have our Luka back and if the football ghods co-operate and deliver fourth then the long term looks secure.

The Luka Modric Appreciation Society moved many a round in felicitious celebration of our patron. Indeed with Mine host just back from Teneriffe things got a little good natured to say the least. So much so another Society was born.

The Sandro Raniere Guimaraes Cordeiro Appreciation Society.

Simply Sandro at 22 years is bound for greatness. Our Daniel has more work on his hands come the end of the season. The work load has doubled. If we retain him then another Spurs legend is born. Rumours of Milan sniffing in the summer just gone are entirely credible.

The Brazilian midfield will be built around this decisive defensive midfielder. Just 22 yet tackles with amazing clinical efficiency. That combined with a tremendous engine all adds up to something special. May yet turn out to be one of our best buys ever. Takes a Brazilian says our lawyer to bring back the Dave McKay spirit to a Spurs side otherwise sprinkled with class.

Don't worry the little formerly spindly one is still up there with our pub. However following the philosphy of one Jose Mourinho you do need two for each position. Think we have the Appreciation Society covered .

And To The Good News.

Our Ledley may be back sooner. Last year he was gone 7 months. This time the medicos have put an early return date on it Sounds promising given last year they were not brave enough to even quote on any date.

Another win to the kids in Europe. The littlest sports car started even if he was on the wrong side. Surely if he can recover confidence then the Van der Lennon show will prove useful and lethal in the big time.Two into ninety minutes means goals and mayhem.

And the really good news. We play the bottom team this week. Not a banana skin in sight. Plenty of chickens but with our boy back in love with the chicken badge then a productive three points.

I know , I know the old Spurs would skid on anything and buggar this Sunday up. Nope the new Spurs with backbone courtesy of Parker, Sandro, a definitely hungry Kaboul and our Mr Cool, Benny, should prevail. Twitter tells us he made the plane for Blackburn. Should round off a very good news week ...

At A Kent Pub.

Conversations here were very bouyant as you can gather this week. The Brazilian flavour continues tommorrow. Pele turns 70. Still a spring chicken says Luka.

Stuart Atwell, his grandmother was Winifred Atwell, takes charge. Winifred played a mean piano about the time Scottie Parkers' haircut was invented. Still go Scotty. Mind no smiling either.

Cheers ... with the week we've had we can even wish Arsene many happy returns ... 62 today ... mind hope Stoke spoil the birthday party ... Greg Meyer. coys.

Friday 14 October 2011 ... Mr. H. Webb's Birthday ... Not The One You Think.

The View Is Worth The Climb ... Mountaineering At St James Park.

Essential equipment in the away Spurs fan's kitbag on an expedition to St James Park includes, climbing boots, a set of pitons, oxygen mask and 2 miles of rope. Quite a climb to the heady heights of the away section at Newcastle. Oops sorry add a pair of binocculars to those mandatory items.

So once you are comfortably settled in at 30,000 feet then whats to expect this Sunday in the late show televised around the world.

Newcastle versus Spurs.

Sir Hilary Redknapp's team are flying high lately but still stand below the Barcodes in the table. Argueably Spurs have had the more difficult climbs lately , particularly Liverpool and that local clifface known as the NLD. Fortunately the team have recovered from some early horrendous falls down those two Mancurian crevasses, United and City.

Some considerable "ifs" make forecasting with precision a lost science. Adebayour in, alls well. Sandro in, helps too. With Emmanuel A. out then we rely on the littlest Jermaine up top. Hmm says our lawyer. Our pub have gone off Pav markedly since the Togolese arrival shows what touch, control, hold up, and clinical finishing is all about.

Midfield is interesting. Our plan A of Sandro and Parker away may not happen. Still as a certain obnoxious Arsenal midfielder( currently sidelined for 4 months) tweeted last week .. class is ... Our banker reckons Modric, VDV, Bale and Parker are quality plus class. Tiote , Cabaye and Gutierrez are not in the same er class albeit they have a great work ethic. Surely little Scotty can knock one in against his old side.

Our pub are finding it hard to drum up the same anticipation and expectation that foreshadowed that last derby. Still a win here means if we sneak a look ahead at the upcoming fixtures then ...

The Climb Is Worth The View.

Yep if we keep climbing then Christmas could be scary.Top four and perhaps a realistic tilt at third.

Backburn (a),QPR (h),Fulham(a),Villa(h),Brom (a),Bolton(h),Stoke(a),Sunderland(h), Chelsea (h), and Norwich on 27 December is our run to the higher echelons. A lot of winnable games there.

Our cabbie reckons if our main man up front stays fit as well as most of the others then very achievable. Mine host has promised "Oxygen Masks" cockeraltails all round for our New Years Eve at the pub. The recipe is secret at present but sounds explosive.

Wildly optimistic or just plain sensible ... one of many viewpoints doing the rounds this week ...

At A Kent Pub ... Just Before I Grab My Hat.

Cliff Richard born Harry Webb turns 71 today. Not sure how old Howard Webb is and frankly we couldn't care less here. Thirty nine year old Lee Probert does the St James clash on Sunday. Our pub's jury is still out on him. It could be worse. Lee Mason is the fourth official.

One man who is a cult hero here is of course Disco Benny. Great article in the Standard today. Yes a common thread here to a lot of our regulars who train home from work in part on the Tube. Before you know it you could be sharing a seat with Benny or as he sometimes tells people, Benoit Assou-Ekottu's little brother. A regular on the Tube with his prized Oyster Card.

Cheers ... a breath of fresh air our Benny ... Greg Meyer. coys.

Friday 7 October 2011.

Taxi For Sagna .. No Room For Maicon.

Without breaking stride he received the ball with a welcoming caress, 3 yards behind Carl Jenkinson,8 yards later he was 3 yards past and the gap increasing at an alarming rate.Therefter chaos in the Arsenal defence.

Earlier,midway into the enemies half he carried the ball up to a bemused Per Mertesacker, the German international stood mesmerised as the Welsh turbo (only in second gear at this stage) engaged third, then he was gone.

Barcary Sagna was next, normally looks no slouch, but the Welsh sports car sped on. Embarrassment came next for the Frenchman. He was but an image in Gareth's rear mirror. Only a repeat as to what had happened around 31 minutes in with Barcary and Bale. And so it went.

Gareth Bale. Worth the admission fee alone and then some.

The list calling for a cab doesn't end there of course. Still the way our Gareth ripped apart poor old Carl Jenkinson just in from Charlton, had you feeling sorry for the Arsenal rookie almost. It was a derby after all.

Gareth Bale. Almost back to his Maicon best. Exhilarating pace,exemplary close control and most important the confidence to use his amazing attributes. Contrast that with his old Southampton room-mate and good friend, Theo Walcott. In the first minutes of the derby with the opportunity to use his undoubted pace and take on our Benny Assou-Ekotto Theo shirked the issue. Confidence is a great motivator.

Gareth Bale in full flight just naturally set us to pondering on that confidence factor. Something we here at the pub loosely termed ...

The Modric Factor.

The flow on effect or in Gareth's case, the flew on effect, of Luka staying on is subliminal, is obvious,and is emphatic. The presence of a now valued 40 million pound midfield general is catalysing confidence and belief throughout the squad.

Compare that to a shellshocked Arsenal devoid of Fabregasp, the departure of Nasri, and the arrival of Arteta. The spaniard is useful but hardly a Fabregasp. Jack Obnoxious will come of age as a footballer in due course but is a least three months away. As to growing up as a person after his latest rant regards our favourite son Glenn then that may be three decades away.

Back to the Modric factor. Yes a less than stellar derby but who else stepped up to the mark. A lot that might not have been there if Levy had not stood firm. The likes of Adebayour, Van der Vaart, Parker and of course Bale. Modric staying was all a factor in some not going and indeed some joining a club perceived to be going places.

And so to that intangible. The confidence factor also called team spirit and belief. The resistance to Russian bully boy tactics epitomised by the Daniel Levy line drawn in the sand said ... Spurs are not a feeder club any longer.

The effect of Luka's retention breeds a bon homie about the club and fans indeed. Smiles are everywhere, not the least in our new Togolese striker. Team belief is everywhere. All we need now is our littlest sports car back, fit , rearing to go, and taking on full backs like he used to. C'mon Aaron. Gareth is doing it on the other side.

More taxis anyone.

Two Other Derby Heroes.

He does seem to have a certain panache about him. A knack for saying the right things, quite apart from scoring derby goals. A lovely wife who does go to the Lane with young Damien. His goal celebration was ecstatic, his post game beamings pronounced. Post match it continued and in two words he neatly summed up Arsene Wenger. "Stop whinging."

Yes there were other derby heroes but a favourite here at our pub continued to demonstrate why in less than two years he will be proven world class.

Our lawyer felt relieved and self assured when he ran on to the pitch in that six feet plus athletic Brazilian way. The effect was immediate.A flagging dutchman gone but the looming danger on our right side dissipated.

Of course his contribution was not confined to defensive duties. It was his run and collect which led to the Kyle Walker possession which led to... the rest is NLD history.Very obviously going to be a great. Milan already know. They apparently bid for him in the summer. Brazilian beer might yet make the menu ...

At A Kent Pub .... Before You Go.

The good news ...

the rise and rise of a certain North London football club. Sorry Arsene.

The bad news ...

just when we thought it was safe to walk the streets comes news that David Pleat may be returning to Spurs as a scout. Best known for his lunchcutting of a Kent pub ghod, Glenn of Hoddle,surely not.

Finally gathered around the birthday table today what a conversation they will have . Jermaine Defoe will talk religion with Archbishop Desmond Tutu. Simon Cowell will talk about his new showbiz project on Russian tv with Vladimir Putin. That leaves Clive James to resurrect his tv critic column. Happy birthday all.

Cheers ...my favourite quote of the week ... " Wenger has thrown Merteseker up top. He's turning us into Blackburn Rovers.".... Cheers Greg Meyer coys.

North London Derby Day 2011.

A Dangerous Derby.

Danger looms everywhere today in North London. Nothing to do with street riots. No the danger emanates from those genteel establishments bearing such logos as Paddy Power, William Hill, and the like. Apparently the bookies have installed Spurs as favourites for the running of the 39th or thereabouts North London Derby, Premier League style.

Our pub collective of self proclaimed "experts" galore have a look at some dangerous ideas and thoughts ahead of a classic clash starting with ...

A Dangerous Striker.

A clear cut favourite for the tag. Robin van Persie wins by a street. Last year without him Arsenal looked shaky. Upon his return they looked back to their dangerous self and so it is this season. Perhaps even more so as with no Nasri, no Fabregas, and even no Bendtner then they are seemingly stretched. Alright Bendtner is a miss for us.

Filling the void are Gervinho (at this stage Gervinwho), long name Chamberlain, Walcott, Arshavin and assorted others. Somehow not yet or ever to be in the class of your average Thierry Henri or our own Emmanuel Adebayour. Yes marvellous how the football wheel turns.

The pivotal clash says our pub is Ledley King keeping van Persie quiet. Somehow with our Rolls Royce playing then the bookies may even be right. Not to say that van Persie is the only dangerous striker featuring. No as mentioned a man as equally dangerous is our Emmanuel.

Have a listen some remarkable comments from the Arsenal goalkeeper. Is he having a bob each way?

Dangerous Quotes.

Wojcieh ( the W stands for "Winker" after his eyeball antics at the Lane last season) Szczesny fronted the press ahead of the derby. The Polish keeper, speaking fluent english with a nice line in english accents, commented on the Adebayour danger. Telegraph source.

" Ade's a really great striker but we know how dangerous he is ... but we know how to deal with him. I'm not going to say now because it will be our little secret." Nudge, nudge, wink, wink.

Yet elsewhere in the same fluent style he seems to perform a volte-face saying ...

"Of course we know he's a good player but we won't pay any extra attention to him."

Our pub hope he takes that confusion to the Lane today. Perhaps the little secret he was referring to is the switch from zonal to man marking to be used by Arsenal.

More Dangerous Quotes.

Well more the misplaced, egotistical, gallic murmurings of a well credentialled manager definitely under fire.Even so job is not in danger says his owner Stan Kroenke.

"We were interested in Modric ... I'm not surprised how well he has done." Telegraph.

So what happened to the he'll never make it, he's too lightweight references. Perhaps Arsene was previously misquoted. One things for sure our little lightweight will be a very dangerous man this afternoon where you can bet there will be ...

Dangerous Liasons Galore.

Do we see a second dangerous van on the pitch. Surely it is Van der Start to feature after his heriocs in last seasons derbies. Mind it does imbalance things according to some. Harry will sort it of course.

Bale and Sagna are a likely pairing. Our journalist would prefer it to be Santos but thats just being greedy. Wallcott and Assou-Ekotto is another. We can only hope dangerous moments a la Wigan have been banished by Benny.

With the midfield vital our banker certainly won't miss Jack Obnoxious. Aaron Ramsey is certainly less antagonistic but his clash with Parker is another vital pairing. Just one of many discussions overheard this week ...

At A Kent Pub.

Always the match our pub looks forward to every season. Arsenal at the Lane. No exception this year but with no Robbie Keane up front to rely upon and with the hope of footballs oldest curse coming to pass hopes are high it will be a grand and very late night tonight here and at your place.

Dangerous to tempt fate I agree but here's hoping we see dangerous objects taking to the air at about 6 pm. Flying waterbottles once owned by Monsieur Wenger.

Cheers ... Adebayour to Score ... Greg Meyer. coys.

Friday 23 September 2011 ... Rooney's Birthday.

The Return Of A Prodigal Croation ... The Sound Of An Elephant Clapping In Togo.

The two early train crashes on the Manchester line now seem more a signals problem than a lack of quality and class from the training squad of twenty five players.

Our prodigal son Luka of Modric certainly seems to have recovered his head and the somewhat unnatural letting off of high powered steam has seen two powerful strikes bring goals. The Croatian game and of course his prodigious strike against Liverpool. Most unlike Luka but a new found facet of his game we could easily embrace wholeheartedly.

Emmanuel Adebayour of couse was not on either the United or City train trips. And how it has showed since just where we went wrong last season. Adebayour and a born again Defoe ( he is the religious Jermaine with the other, he of Jenas, now in a different congregation on loan at Villa) are giving our pub real hope and entertainment. We've always had the first but the second was not turning up as much as your Spurs fan expects.

So ahead of a very winnable away trip to the Wigan Pier just some of the conversations overheard this week ...

At A Kent Pub.

A Geometric Progression ...

not sure if it has been generally spotted but our lawyer , a great one for figures of a different kind, those with curves predominating, cannot recall seeing Spurs play the triangles fast,sometimes furious and always precise , usually adjacent to the touchline in confined spaces by our players lately. Quite often involving Adebayour, Parker, , even Benny. But not just restricted to them. Seemed very obvious in the Wolves game and was happening again versus Pool. There it was Bale, Modric and others.

Now we know they are reputed not to practise penalties , seem not to practise set pieces ( judging by our lack of success come gametime) but this triangular possession surely was born at Chigwell Lodge. Not barcelonesque but it is heading that way in philosophy. Deny the other mob possession, control the tempo, and just generally ooze confidence. At times late in the Liverpool game it was indeed a training exercise. Perhaps a new found emergence of arrogance in the nicest possible way. The way where we win very regularly.

Might be our pub's imagination or too many libatory ales but seems to be working.

Never, Ever Look Back ...

without harping on it our pub still recall that horrible Crouch miss against City. You know the one where our Welsh wonder delivers a Welsh wondercross. Well Peter has gone but he was at it again for Stoke against us in the MM Cup. Even Mrs Disney would have scored. Again what great business allowing him his dream move to Stoke. No hard feelings even if he did score his penalty in the shootout.

So imagine the rumblings when Jermaine the Religious missed that sitter just after half time on Sunday. Still karma is karma and he did make amends in great style not long after. Jermaine is a keeper, thank goodness. Reverse karma perhaps.

And Whilst We Are On The Subject Of Karma ...

Charlie Adam got away with one on Gareth Bale last year at the Lane. Put Bale's ankle out for the rest of the season. A pleasant surprise to see the footballing ghods don't miss much. Charlie was at it again but saw red this time after the eyes for the man lunge on Parker.To his credit he did not protest. Perhaps he believes in karma as well. Buddhism on Merseyside? Hmm.

Haircuts Are In The News ...

Sandro looked great on tuesday. Great that he was back on a football pitch and out of the barbershop. Our brickie thought the new colour scheme looked great. Perhaps not what you might see regularly on his building site but hey ... he's back.

Elsewhere Wayne Rooney told the Mirror, yes he of the new found tonsorial elegance, that he shared a barber with our own Jermaine Defoe. Wayne's new hair apparently cost north of thirty thousand pounds. Its only money.

Somewhat uncharitably our banker reckons Wayne needs all the assistance he can get regards the looks department. Certainly needs no help on the goalscoring front.

By the by his look alike namesake, Mickey Rooney,the actor, tuns 91 today.

Cheers ... hopefully no bananas on sale at the Wigan Pier ... Greg Meyer. coys.

September 9, 2011 Happy Birthday to a Spurs Striking Legend.

A Letter From Luka.

You may recall our recent letter to Luka of Modric containing some helpful advice over his purported Transfer Request. The one first brought to light by the world famous Harry Hotspur.

Unbelievable news. Not so much that he is still with us but arriving at the Pub in a brown paper envelope replete with curious stamps ,verified as Croatian by our resident philatelist, was the following document. You'll no doubt recall his list of no likes. Behold an update by Luka with some comment included where appropriate by some of our pub regulars.

Dear Kent Pub Luka Modric Appreciation Society,

Hvala,sorry will stick to your english, thank you for your triffic support and helpful advice. Since Luka, Mrs Luka, and littlest Luka first met nice Russian rich man on his big yacht in summer, things have been a little upside down especially with Luka's head.

Fortunately head now getting back to right place nearly. As well now have new list which works much better than old one. Would very much like to share with you.

Now like chicken badge...

Scottie Parker has joined club and says he has loved chicken ever since he did chicken ad for McDonalds long time ago. He says chicken good for you. Also whilst on international holiday this week with Niko and Vedran they both reminded me of how we listened to Chickenman radio( wireless in Croatia) show after training on Thursday nights in Zagreb. Much better than Eastenders.

No like share room with John Terry....

Mrs Luka upset if Luka learn bad habits. She not sure if John a family man after a cup of tea with Mrs Bridge. Besides she think monkeys rather cute. Another cup of tea, this time with Mrs Bale. She like Croatian mothers club.

No need to play with tall circus man.

My new found close personal friend, Daniel, has offloaded Peter to Stoke. Mrs Short Circus Man wife not happy with move from London .

Kent pub also very happy with this move. How could he ever play for Spurs again after that miss. Particularly after the sensational cross by Gareth Bale.

No like play with rush goalie...

No need to now since Brad Friedal arrived. Only concern is goals now rushing in even when goalie not rushing.

Our pub think Friedel to continue but Heurelho is certainly looking more interested lately.

Still no understand glory glory song ...

But now discover lots of others the same as me. Disco Benny never listens as usually has walkman on high.Basically none of players can remember back that far to glory days.

Now like threaten Luka...

New found cpf Chairman Danny has threatened to increase my wages next month. Harry has said so on radio. Must be true. Mrs Luka very happy and going shopping with other mothers club members.

So Luka now new man. Look at my 25 yard thunderbolt for Croatia this week. Never done that before. Much looking forward to seeing all my friends from the Kent pub at the Lane on Sunday 18 September at my favourite little stadium.

Yours

Luka, Mrs Luka and littlest Luka.

Cheers .... Frederic Kanoute is 34 today ... Greg Meyer. coys.

Manchester Monday 22 August 2011.

A Letter To Luka.

Dear Luka,

although some of the undersigned were pushing for a less courteous opening . I am sure their feelings are crystal clear as you read on. Should you have any difficulties with comprehension may we suggest Google translate ( the Croation version).

At an Extraordinary Meeting of the Luka Modric Appreciation Society of Kent this week it was not so much the meeting that was extraordinary but the depth of emerging disenchantment which culminated in the following seven point motion.

Moved Mine Host Seconded Our Pub Lawyer.

That Luka Modric , still of North London, be called upon to explain,agree, confirm and otherwise extemporise on the following:

1. A contract signed on 30 May 2010 whereby the player agreed to a further 6 years with the said THFC should be honoured and not treated as a gentlemanly throw-away.

By way of addendum the meeting could understand a player such as Mr. S. Nasri now in his final year perhaps feeling justified in pursuing pastures new. Mr. Nasri is not in year one of a six year contract.

2 .A club endorsed as going places when the player signed should not be selling its best player to a Champions League and Premiership rival.

By addendum Mr. Modric on signing stated ... 'Tottenham Hotspur gave me my chance in the Premier League and I want to go on to achieve great success here with them .... etc ".

Manchester United sold their talisman Ronaldo to Real Madrid. Arsenal have let Fabregas go to Barcelona. The English Premier should be persona non grata for Modric.

3. A club asset worth 16.5 million pounds on signing on 26 April 2008 is now touted at 30 million pounds market value. There will not be a downward spiral should THFC honour the contract and refuse a sale this window. Mr. Modric will still be worth far in excess of the original price should a sale be necessary in the next twelve months.

4. There should not be a sale of the said prized asset in the last nine days of the window. However much profit can be made the impossibility of filling the said players little boots at such a belated stage is a stark reality.

Addendum to the Chairman. Mr. Levy in this case and not he of our Appreciation Society. No Berbatov saga. No forced last day sale. Thereby the said Chairman retains his reputation .

5. A unanimous motion whereby one Henry James Redknapp of 'Well To Do Row', Sandbanks, be called upon to immediately and until the clock strikes midnight on 31 August 2011 completely and utterly, "Shut it!!"regards the said Mr. Modric. A simple no comment till the clock strikes would suffice admirably.

6. The meeting commends with alacrity the very well timed trip overseas by the previously mentioned Mr. Levy.Surely a well planned itinerary would not have him anywhere near a fax, phone, or any other communication device which does not self destruct within seven seconds should the code word Modric be mentioned. A timely homecoming to North London would be Thursday 1 September 2011.

7. A vote of thanks was extended to Messrs, Bale, Van der Vart, Lennon,Kranjcar, to name but a few of the lads for their honourable conduct through what has obviously been a difficult window for them. Thank you for your loyalty to the chicken badge.

Yours from two accountants, three lawyers, a road haulier, a journalist, a long distance skier, a banker,2 train drivers, a cab specialist,3 landscapers,a retired footballer and the rest of our decidedly upset but still merry throng here at a Kent Pub.

Cheers .... keep you posted on the expected response ... Greg Meyer. coys.

Friday 19 August 2011.

Season Preview ... Test Drive The 2011-12 Model ... A Comparison With Other Brands.

Ten days after the rest of the fleet Spurs finally set sail and kick off at Old Trafford. Our pub "don't like mondays" and it will take a miracle in Manchester to change that outlook.

Ahead of monday we thought we might take the new model for a quick spin. Perhaps the description new is a misnomer. Perhaps we might finally buy a new player , under 40 and one allowed outside the penalty box. Twelve long days to go until it slams shut.

Indeed this years model looks a little more settled from the rear. If our Brazilian standup comic has a good year then it may be due to the looming presence of a still spritely and dependable 40 year old American.

Occupying the back seats this year it looks useful. Reliability will be improved with the sad departure of Jonathon Woodgate.Mind he'll probably clock up a full quota with Stoke. Just our luck. Still the coming of Walker with pace, the ever present cultured enigma that is Benny,and with our favourite Croatian Vedran providing road holding but no pace, then it looks good. No prizes for guessing why Vedran is our favourite. Certainly a loyal servant unwilling to rock the car.

In the middle in the back as usual the question is will our Rolls Royce feature. If Ledley spends more time on the track than in the pool then the lack of a summer back up buy may go unnoticed.Both Dawson and Kaboul are out of warranty but despite lacking upmarket add ons, sometimes pace and sometimes concentration, both should mantain market price. Gallas is spending more time in the garage but has the professionalism and just plain desire to give us perhaps a last year. Bassong only gets driven on the occassional Sunday and then its usually a nervous outing.

Moving up to the drivers seat if we keep a certain compact Croatian then creativity when all else fails is likely to be present. It's easy to see why you know who desperately need him. Spurs engine room is second to none. A Dutch master, the Welsh wizard, the very fast little English sports car, the very less speedy Croatian Kranjkar, all able to steer round and through obdurate defensive obstacles most of the time. Livermore may even be allowed out of the showroom if his Hearts display counts for anything.

Talk of a Spanish model arriving keeps on keeping on. Diarra is no Modric and we already have a Diarra. Sandro when fit is an emerging star.He knows Modric well, as well.

Under the bonnet it is looking decidedly down in horsepower. The Irish bloke, well past his use by date , has left for the home of the motor car. Our driving instructor, a man of iron nerve, shudders at where sufficient goals are going to come from. Mine host will shout the bar should something like Adebayour arrive. Both happenings at long odds here. The arrival probably marginally ahead of the shouting.

Those staying in the garage this year include Dos Santos, Hutton,Bentley( right at home), and the Palatial one. Yes they might be used for short European trips as with some others. Huddlestone, Rose and Crouch might even manage some useful miles as well.

Look Daniel Levy has eternal hero status if two things happen. Modric stays in the Spurs showroom and that "fantastic striker signing" arrives within the next twelve days and not months.

So a quick trip around the car yards London and Manchester might give a little better balance.

Down Abu Dhabi Lane.

Hundreds of millions of pounds usually means a top shelf model is likely. Indeed our lawyer is not alone in thinking Aguero will be the player of the year. A model too far and too rich for Spurs unfortunately.

Perhaps our best hope is the Citeh machine may experience mechanical difficulties owing to clashing egos and misfiring jealousies over huge salaries for some and not quite so big for others. A prima donna effect if you will. Not much to go on says our accountant.

A Nearby Manchester Car Yard.

A top of the range model, a proven performer and one that's had significant refurbishment. Both front and back. A podium finish for certain .Probably the middle one.

North London Motors ... Home Of Fine French and Spanish Automobiles.

Or at least it was. The new season Arsenal has engine room problems. Captain Cesc and Sammi Nasri leave gaping holes. Surely our local hero sees the consequences when you lose your midfield mojo, modric anyone. Hang in there Daniel.

Steering problems aside, doubts about their lack of horsepower up front abound. The jury is out on many fronts regards Gervinho says our lawyer.With Bendtner gone then the reliability of their Dutch talisman becomes fundamental. Problems galore and speaking completely objectively, long may they remain.

Home Of Misplaced Hubcaps.

Liverpool have improved. Spent local. Safe but without being unpatriotic our banker says more continental flavour would help. In Andy Carroll they have plenty of potential power. Our Pub think and fervently hope they fall short. Speaking of which ....

Conversations At A Kent Pub.

The demolition of Hearts was a feelgood pre season warmup. Ahead a potential car crash at Old Trafford needs some astute navigation by Harry and our merry men.

Our car salesman ( not kidding, all sorts drink here) is optimistic. You need that and more in his game. No Vidic, no Ferdinand and no Fletcher. Surely our strikers must be motivated by that.

If our back seat drivers ( is Ledley back?) can contain the likes of Nani, Young, Rooney and co then we may yet exact revenge for "The Gaol That Never Was."

Cheers .... surely Clutterbuck is not reffing ... Greg Meyer. coys. PS Its Lee Probert. Small mercies perhaps.

Wogan’s Birthday Wednesday 3 August 2011.

Spurs Striker Problem … A Real Solution.

The window opened 34 days ago leaving 28 days left. The name on most lips most often and least wanted there has of course been a certain Croatian midfielder. The name most want is one of those “three fantastic signings” referred to by the manager. A striker of goals galore , at least one of. Nothing nearly yet.

So what’s gone wrong thus far . Surely with such an astute negotiator as our Chairman , ably backed up by a well recognised wheeler dealer then the blame lies elsewhere. Our pub has looked at this problem from both the top and bottom of the glass. Buggar half full. The answer quite obviously lies in the approach by our current advertising campaign. Sack the current mob.

We suggest a placement with a leading advertising agency might assist. A fortunate coincidence, some might say a convenient truth, emerges with one such eminently reputable firm just happening to have a branch office convenient to our pub.

Mess’rs Doublespeak, Hacker, Spin & Bowler come highly credentialed and will tackle the problem head on.

There are obvious problems with the current Transfer Brochure mail out . Certainly didn’t impress Mr. Vucinic nor Mr Rossi. Probably needed a version in English for both as a starter. More on the brochure in a minute.

Firstly we did seem to start the window on the back foot courtesy of the little midfielders concerns. To revisit concerns ranging from poultry on the shirt to Croatian tv viewing habits please refresh here I Have A Copy Of Luka Modric’s Transfer Request | Harry Hotspur (Cntrl + Click). Thanks Harry H.

Letters going out To Senor Fernando Llorente,perhaps again to Mr Rossi and others of the goalscoring fraternity have enclosed our new brochure which directly attempts to assuage some concerns touted publicly by your tabloidal media.

The infamous “ No like chicken on badge” is directly addressed. That’s no chook but in true Spurs tradition a proud assertive fighting cockerel feared far and wide in the fighting rings of France and beyond.

Wages and lack of have been mentioned. Surely not the be all and end all. Think of the fringe benefits available at Spurs. Access to hire of the club DVD recorder at a nominal price is but one feature. Whilst particularly popular on Thursday evenings there are lots to go round. That solves the Eastenders problem. What better way to relax than a replay of the English cultural icon after a hectic 90 minutes at the Lane.

Another Spurs special is your very own gilt edged fountain pen, all yours on signing. Really useful for signing tricky agreements. Any gentleman would be proud to own such a pen.

Unlimited access to the Chairman’s private pool goes without saying. Long term occupant Mr. L. King is available in case you cannot swim.

Triffic you say. And well you might. But what does it mean. No doubt you have heard of our world famous Learn to Speak English classes. Top of the class last year was young Roman Pavlyuchenko.

Roman looks like staying for another year of classes. His tall circus man striking mate is touted to be off to QPR or whoever. See no problems there then.

So there you have it. No problems at all. Oh the little stadium. Never fear the new brochure shows you a rather marvellous new White hart lane on the horizon.

Golightly and Co have rehashed the original brochure shown below with particular attention to reworking the cover page.

The original brochure was a welcome to North London and perhaps not entirely appealing even if in some parts its accurate..

Messrs Spin and Bowler think the new cover far more enticing.

The new brochure cover of course neatly attends to any concerns about that” little stadium”. News on that front from Vital Spurs and others suggests work has already started. Have a look this Saturday as you swing into Paxton Road. Demolition and construction proceeding apace.

So armed with a flashy new brochure in languages various, addressing concerns generally, surely we will see action on the striker front. Perhaps the little matter of wages may still be a sticking point. Our Agency would welcome any solutions . Not sure any were forthcoming or overheard regards …

Conversations At A Kent Pub.

Most talk this week was fingers crossed about a certain Croatian as we creep closer to the window slamming shut. No new strikers. Twenty eightdays to go.

Positive news that Kyle Walker is keen. His pace and Vedran’s positional cunning mean we may hav the right back spot covered. Unfortunately never really a problem. Its much further up the pitch where we hope there is movement at the station.

Cheers … our pub reckon if we keep you know who it won’t be a total disaster … Greg Meyer. coys

Saturday 16 July 2011 ... A Most Important Spurs Birthday.

Le Tour ... Le Golf ... Le Modric ... and Les Birthday Celebrations.

Fore!! Get out of there!!

Golfing parlance for duck your head quickly. Given the relentless and monotonous barrage of stories Modric this week some of regulars have decided to take in the golf down here in Kent.

The Royal St George's at Sandwich is some fifty six miles crow flying miles from our pub so long as you drive it straight . Surely just a long drive and sand wedge for some. No sign of any Croatian golfers. Probably not a big game in downtown Zagreb. A little more on the British Open shortly but first some updates on this weeks pub conversations starting with ...

Le Tour.

Not the one currently in the Pyrenees but a little further south in Africa. Spurs in the Vodacom Challenge. Looks like most of the current squad have managed to get on the plane. Rafa and Gareth, Aaron and Jermaine, Heurelho and Sebastien, Peter and Robbie,Wilson and Disco Benny ( replete with headphones and seems to be alone in that regard). Easier to list who didn't make it. Ledley King, and Sandro overcoming surgery, and of course one man still closetted with his legal team near Southwark.

At the risk of being hit by a flying golf club dare we mention you know who certainly boarded the plane. Verified by thirty seven newspapers and twenty six tv channels minimum. Back to ...

Le Golf.

Most of our number are purely classical hackers.Even our pub journalist who doesn't work for anyone named Murdoch. What a mess and set to be an enormous story. Possibly the story of 2011. Great it might keep you know what off the tabloids. No, no chance.

One rumour here at Sandwich was the spotting of a 64 year old golf fanatic. Known for his great love of the game perhaps thats why he's not in South Africa.

Our lawyer has been scanning the recent Southwark Crown Court listings and no sign of The Crown vs Redknapp and Others just yet. The closest listing early in the week was the following...

Timothy J. Dale ... with the next defendant one James W. Arthur.

For conspiracy theorists Arthur Daley in disguise. Then again Harry has consistently denied being a wheeler dealer unlike one of our favourites from the tv classic Minder.

On the subject of Minders, our Lucre has an Iranian agent and at the risk of incurring Terry and others wrath a quick look into conversation here at the pub on the subject ...

Le Modric.

Our pub's unanimous view,with mine host just back from Tenerrife for the voting,remains he is not to be released. At least not for anything under forty five million.

Ronaldo was released by Man United for somewhere in the region of seventy million and abroad to Real Madrid.. Their key man at the time. Modric if transferred would go English and to a rival. Apparently there is a premium for "English" players. Just ask Liverpool. So Modric should be fifty million. A player well embedded in the Premier League and not going abroad. Sorry South African safaris don't count.

Double sorry. No he's not for sale!! Hang in there Daniel. Any support needed then there's plenty ready willing and able here ...

At A Kent Pub.

I suppose if Pirates, Chiefs and Spurs are to your taste then plenty of armchair sports here at our pub with the team featuring on ESPN. Our banker reckons friendlies are take it or leave it fare. Still he's not a big golf fan.

Hopefully no surprises ahead this week. A big ask with the courting of Luka to continue and the same with our Harry in a different vein and at a far less receptive venue.

Birthday surprises today include Gareth of Bale ,still with us at age 22 years today. In the golf Adam Scott is in the hunt and turns 31. However our favourite today is the Minsk born tennis player. Anna Smashnova turns 35 today. What a name. You couldn't make it up even if you were a tabloidal hack.

Cheers ... have a smashing weekend ... Greg Meyer. coys.

Saturday 9 July 2011

The Forgotten Man .. The Invisible Man .. and The Unmentionable Man.

Just lately it's become a little monotomous in all the media. Seems we only have one player at Spurs. Seems as though the Sky will fall in if he goes. News of the World already has. Apologies to cyclist Bradley Wiggins of Sky Racing. He did fall and is out of Le Tour. At least our second and third bets are still on. Come on Mark and Cadel.

But impending and erupting volcanoes with attendant ash clouds aside, our non smokers pub is now resigned to letting the volcanoe explode. If the unmentioned player goes for the lure of Lucre then so be it. So long as the lucre is astronomical then perhaps the message will not cause our other stars to have second thoughts.

Our lawyer and basically our pub in entirety say refuse all overtures. Enuff said and looking at a glass half full as always surely our collective occupiers of bar stools reckon somewhere in all this we have an extraordinary squad and none more so than ...

The Forgotten Man.... A Work of Vaart.

Rafael Ferdinand van der Vaart born 11 Febuary 1983 ... save you the arithmetic, he's 28 years young.

His early years were spent swerving footballs from the lounge to the kitchen. No mean feat in a caravan.His parents patience finally gave out and at age 10 he was shipped off to the famous Ajax Football Academy. He matriculated with his good mate Wesley Sneijder( another kent pub favourite) and the rest is history. Hamburg, Real Madrid and then The Lane.

Without being exhaustive our pub have some fond reflections on our very classy Dutch son starting with his own son ... the early years ...

a proud father and the delightful Sylvie with Damien who arrived in May 2006.

That was during his Hamburg years which after the move to Real in 2008 culminated in the Levy signing at 4'oclock on 31 August 2010. Well done Daniel. Again it was Daniel who stitched up the unmentionable to the 6 year contract very recently. Our banker is still not convinced that Harry is with it in the big signings as opposed to the smaller used car signings. We hope this myth is well and truly shattered shortly in the transfer window. Before mention of that hard to see man back to Rafa and some photographic proof of his contentment with the Lane ...

He has put on weight, Damien that is. Rafa is back and with a full pre season our pub reckon he will rise to greater heights.

Given his star status the press have done just that with Rafa as regards the unmentionable man, press that is. Maintaining perfect dutch poise and diplomacy perhaps his reaction can best be summed up as ..

Again Mine host and the happy regulars are not dwelling on half glasses. Spurs are in the big league. If not why are a London rival after one of our best. Yes we need some fire power. More on that in a minute. Look if we stand firm, keep what we have and add what we all know we need then Rafa , Aaron, Gareth, Jermaine(?), and the unmentionable one , yes thats him enveloped with Spurs joy in the background plus all Spurs will certainly challenge for top four and then some.

So cheers to the Van der Vart family from the Kent pub family.

The Invisible Man.

We won't dwell too much on this subject given the invisible happenings so far. No news is normally good news. Try that on at our pub and you may well die the death of a thousand beer coasters.

The invisible twenty goal man has yet to appear swathed in bandages and sun glasses. Thats how H. G. Wells famous film began. Later the said man ran amok.

It's a scenario our gardener would be quite happy with. Running amok with goals galore is what we need.

Rossi, Vucinic, Llorete and Damio are doing the tabloidal rounds. Even Jay Boothroyd has twittered in.

Some defining moments coming up. No invisible man then the likelihood of the Unmentionable moving on next year is certain. And who would blame him. Certainly none here ...

At A Kent Pub.

Great to see some happy photos of the Bentleys, BMW's, Range Rovers etc back at Chigwell Lodge for pre season. The drivers also looked happy. No sign of a Croation Skoda but then he was in a meeting and yet to take to the track.

Trying times still. How you manage a possible title challenger and a tricky Court case all in the same month is debateable. Bet he'd much rather a leisurely stroll round South Africa with no committments.

Our thoughts are with him. Certainly our lawyer has fingers crossed for Harry.

Cheers ... forget the defining moment and reflect on our own work of Vaart ... Greg Meyer. coys.

Saturday 25 June 2011... A Birthday Cake at Chez Redknapp.

Lucre Modric.

"He leaves over my dead body." Hopefully 'Murder at the Lane' does not become a best seller and Daniel Levy's career as Spurs Chairman does not suffer a fatal wounding in credibility.And then some.

Luka in Croatia means "port" and as well "wound" Oops surely not but unfortunately yes.

Lucre in Kent means bitter disappointment if our Spurs fulcrum leaves for Russian roubles. Lots of filthy lucre changing hands. So what. Try finding another Modric for 25 Million pounds or 1.1 Billion roubles. The going exchange rate.

Our pub banker well versed in exchange rates,considers himself a dab hand at transfer rates also. Jordan Henderson 20 Million pounds (giggles galore), Cesc Fabregas ( Arsenal declined a recent Barcelona overture of 27 Million) and valued by Arsenal at 45 Million pounds. So where does that place our Luka. Surely not the derisory 20 Million initially offered by Chelsea.

Its completely unanimous here at the Kent Pub Luka Modric Appreciation Society. Arsenal went through this last year with Fibreglass.They announced a realistic value of the player to their team and stuck to it. Unless we have realistic aspirations to push on for a realistic title chase then sell. Some of our number may then follow from a distance. Some of our number may pay more attention to the garden. A very small number.

Most will fair dinkum edge closer to that slippery slope of disinclined involvement. It certainly tests the Season Ticket renewal resolve if he is allowed to go.

Hang on ... over my dead body.

Our lawyer says it is all just part of being a big club,showing how hard it is to be there and more pertinent to stay there. After all Luka is coveted by others because Spurs are a genuine title threat come August 2011.

The initial dust has settled but given the Transfer Window officially opens July 1 and slams shut 31 August ,don't hold your breath. Instead why not relax and escape indeed dream about holidays coming up ...

Kent Pub Travel Advice.

Mine Host was a big wig in the travel industry before setting up a Spurs outpost in Kent. Many's the night he and some of our regulars include designated travel agents talking of exotic locales.

As well who is and who has gone where with a football tucked in the suitcase. Without being comprehensive our Bureau reports ..

You know who on a boat ... boat owner unknown but Russian registration suspected.Hopefully the boat is in port Bali where Senor Fibreglass is holidaying. After all the further away Luka is the better.

Harry flitting from 18 holes at the Berkshire Golf Club to Ascot for the evening dinner. As well on the phone to his solicitor. Something about the Portsmouth development planning appeal. Taxing times for your keen developer. About to become immeasurably more taxing down at Southwark County Court in July. Not much of a holiday break for our Harry.

White Vaart Lane and wife Sylvie have moved on from St Tropez to Las Vegas.At least Rafael seems settled at our Lane for 2011-12.

Another traveller touted to be off to Turkey next year is sunning himself in Barbados. Jermaine Jenas and wife. Yes probably should move on to a permanent appointment in the turkish sun.

Elsewhere Spain is popular. Not only our little speedster Aaron Lennon but Jimmy G2 as well. How the well to do manage to battle on.

Here at the pub Mine host about to depart Tenerriffe as usual. Yes Vinny Samways had a very popular bar there. Otherwise we regulars are standing by for a heatwave about to descend this weekend ...

At A Kent Pub.

A crucial month looms for Harry, Luka and our Pub.

The stress of a criminal trial cannot be underrated. The stress of following Spurs when your prize assets are under threat does not help. Perhaps more stressful if you are managing the same mob.

The general consensus here is day by day and heatwave by heatwave, After all he did say...

"Over my dead body ..."

Cheers ... fingers crossed and by the by Jamie Redknapp turns 38 today ... Greg Meyer. coys.

Sunday 22 May 2011.

The World's Best Actor And the World's Best Detective Spend Survival Sunday At White Hart Lane ... Knights Of The Realm Both.

Season ticket holders when football was football both Sir Laurence Olivier and Sir Arthur Conan Doyle will be there in spirit on Sunday for the Battle of Birmingham. Both celebrating birthdays as well.

Here at our Kent pub we are no stranger to battles galore . The battle of Britain was our home ground. It probably feels almost as much a last ditch stand for Birmingham fans in their relegation dogfight at the Lane on Sunday. Our lawyer thinks that if the real Spurs turn up then ITV Thursday night ratings next year are assuredly high. Europa, probably hooray.

More on Sunday later. This week saw the traditional end of season gathering at the Kent Pub Ballroom for ...

The Annual Season Ending Kent Pub Oscars.

Mine host has prepared the pub a treat. Marvellous what you can do with a couple of portable but palatial Marquees. These have your windows galore. A truly fitting venue for the gathered assemblage suitably entertained by very traditional Kent balladeers.

Copious quantities of fine English ale and a sumptuous feast of Kent's finest all lead up to our guest Master of Cermonies taking to the stage for the eagerly awaited nominations and then winners.

Gone are the Players awards, Gareth Bale anyone, and gone to are that other one with Scotty "I don't ever look very happy" Parker being voted best. No these carefully conducted awards are the result of hours of toil, drinking, toil, drinking, and finally getting round to collating the multiplicity of scribblings mainly on well used beer coasters so as to provide a well informed(joking not waving) verdict on a sensational Spurs season.

And now to the envelopes ...

The Elephant In The Room Award.

Nominations included Sebastion Bassong, yes he has African origins and yes Harry seemed blissfully aware of his great stuff last year, but no there were others.

Jermaine Defoe nominated himself this week. Demanding more game time but conveniently overlooking some basic mathematics. Four goals in a season is hardly frontline stuff. Yes some injury concerns but its not the old Jermaine when he does appear.

So if not Jermaine then whose name is in the envelope.

Come on down Niko Kranjcar. The Croatian midfielder in the room but rarely seen on the pitch. Some useful goals last year. This year despite a relative goal drought Harry chose to overlook the Croatian Pantechnicon. Shame because his goals were needed.

Our banker reckons his greatest asset is that along with Vedran Corluka he keeps our greatest asset, one Luka, happy and enjoying his time at Tottenham.

The London and Birmingham Water Board Award.

A jointly sponsored effort with the criteria mainly centred around excellence with the use of water and an ability to promote one's self no matter what.

This years winner was a standout. No real runners up. His judicious use of water in a celebratory medium was particularly profound Yes not completely well received nor understood by the managerial recipient. But all at our pub thought it quite a lark.

The ejection of a large bucket of H2O ,all over Harry Redknapp at Manchester Citeh late last season by one David Bentley was well received throughout the land save down Bournmouth way at a certain Sandbanks residence.

David is now driving a water cart at Birmingham. Perhaps that should be a water carrier somewhere in the midfield.

The Walt Disney Cartoon Award.

This award was founded by the Brothers Grimm. Those well known spinners of fairy tales. Now carving out a living at a tabloidal newspaper.

Previous winners included the authors of "Figo to The Lane" and " Wesley Sneider Signs For Spurs." Some formidable tabloidal stuff there. What came close.

Not a lot this year to be fair.A succession of strikers were signing in the January transfer window without success. Bale to Milan cropped up regularly. Still the silly season is just about . Stay tuned

Our pub are confident despite all the Modric to Manchester headlines coming up that our Croation wonderkid will still be here for our title tilt next year.

The Royal Society Of Physiotherapists Blue Ribbon.

As usual a very popular award. Record entries as usual. Some long term malingerers. The ocasional quicker than expected departure from the Society treatment rooms was also a happy sight.

Nominations included the boy Bale. According to Harry he has toughened up and not so prone these days. Our journalist agrees and still wonders how Charlie Adams got away with that tackle. Lee Probert was reffing. Of course. That was the day if you did not break a leg then the card stayed firmly in pocket. It's not as though Adam did not have form. Had several spells of suspension because of an accumulation of cards. Good news is that Gareth is back sooner.Not as bad as first thought.

Other nominations included the square peg in a Scottish round hole, Alan Hutton. Does not seem to fit anymore. Lots of others had spells out but mainly short term or recovered.

Our mystery MC has the envelope in hand. A sad duty but the winner is ...

Jonathon Woodgate. He won despite trying relentlessly to overcome a serious injury.It does not look like any hope of return. Very sad given his undoubted quality and most telling his ceasless efforts to overcome his injury. Not everyone goes to Australia nor America.

Good luck Woody and thanks from some great football.

The evening is fast coming to an end. Still lots of trophies to award including the Howard Webb Cup. There may not be time but there is still ...

The Life Time Achievement Award.

Probably the hardest one of all to win. A combination of class, quality, dedication, and sheer Spurs running through your very being is a minimum prerequisite.

This years winner has shown perfect timing throughout his career. Perfect timing in the tackle. perfect timing and perfect sense in his positional play. Just lately that perfect timing coincided with a return to action at just the right time.

Yep against Liverpool where Spurs recorded a clean sheet and their first win at Anfield in nearly 301 years approximately.

Say no more. Come on down ...

Ledley King.

His Anfield performance means he will see out the last year on his contract next year. Perhaps the football ghods will shine and allow a useful amount of games so that we can enjoy a last season in the style that he deserves.

Spurs Royalty. One King Ledley.

Been at Spurs all his football life. Fitting that he ends it at the Lane. Certainly a hope shared by one and all here ...

At A Kent Pub.

Liverpool is a fading but surprising memory. Some here thought the game was up after Citeh. But no thats our Spurs. Europa in our hands.

Just our luck to land in the middle of a relegation dogfight. Still as our teacher points out. Its at the Lane.

Last game is always special. Hope when Luka, Rafael, Ledley and your special favourite do the post game lap of honour we have a win under our belts.

Been a great season. looks like being even better next year if ...

Cheers .. George Best has a birthday today ... played with the gusto and reckless spirit that epitomises our classy Spurs ... would have fitted in well ... useful as well versus Birmingham ....

Greg Meyer ... coys.

Disclaimer: Please note the words on this page are the opinion of the topspurs columnist and are just that, opinions, not facts and are nothing to do with Tottenham Hotspur Football club PLC. Just a supporter having his say nothing more nothing less. Any commentary on betting is meant for discussion purposes only and does not constitute any form of advice or recommendation.

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