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Why I love…… Chris Perry

Chris Perry became the first of the Goonersaurus triumvirate of signings to “conquer Europe" along with Leonhardsen and Korsten when he arrived from Wimbledon for £4m in July 1999. He started fairly well and when you recall the names of his immediate rivals and predecessors; Vega, Scales, Scott, Nethercott and Cundy it is not hard to see why anyone who was vaguely credible would be welcomed. A couple of goals, including one in Europe did no harm either in that balmy late summer when we briefly topped the league. 

It did not last and a series of Graham induced disasters saw us dumped out of Europe, both domestic cups (& of course the league!) all before Christmas. Perry's approval rating dipped with it and has never really recovered. The cult of Perry probably does not need to print its second membership card; why should we celebrate ordinary footballer at a great football club? And then why Perry, when we have a plethora ordinary ones to chose from?

It’s a slippery slope to Perry worship. First you start defending him with comments like he is not as bad as Vega/Thatcher, then it goes on to actually appreciating his ability as a defender and before you know it there is no way back. With Perry, you always know you get all of what ever he has and while he may not be the most talented, he is certainly the bravest in the squad. Not aggressive, he won't iron out someone who has wronged him, but never ducks a challenge and is strong in a kind of poor man's Mabbutt way. Surviving near decapitation at Fulham this season, only to be available for selection 5 days after says it all about him.

There is also something charmingly comical about him, not the slapstick farce of Rocket Ron, more pathos. Sometimes just the sight of his permanently vacant expression or a toothy grin revealing teeth that have been compared to everything from Dick Emery's Vicar to Danni Minogue. The images of him in the "turban" he wore at Scumbury a few years back will live long in the memory.

Most supporters have yet to see the charm in Perry and his often bovine use of the ball does sit uneasily with the expectations from the Hotspur tradition. At least Perry's passing as improved under Hoddle and when people go on about his passing it is worth remembering that he is certainly no worse than the so called "football genius". That said, if asked to chose which of the following was most likely: Keane to score a one on one? Or Iversen to time a leap correctly? Or Perry to pass to a teammate in the opposition's half? It would be a tough call, each being around a one in ten chance.

There are plenty of magic moments with Perrydinho. Most recently the Beckham style lob while running at full pace towards his own goal which Keller performed wonders to keep out at Sunderland. The "Perry Pirouette" at Scumbury last season where a simple square pass on the halfway line caused all sorts of panic for the great man as he swung, missed, spun round and fell over in the process. And the then there are the Cruyff turns, pure quality.

The fanfare that accompanied the signing was the now familiar "looking to join a big club for international recognition" and although three and a half years on Perry is more often than not sweating the nod from Hod let alone awaiting the call from Sven, but while we show no signs of moving out of the midtable doldrums, he'll always have a place in my squad.

(this article first appeared in CADD Jan 2003)